MID-LIFE CRISIS SOLVED After being married for 30 years, I took a careful look at my wife one day and said, 'Darling, 30 years ago we had a cheap apartment, a cheap car, slept on a sofa bed and watched a 10-inch black and white TV, but I got to sleep every night with a hot 25-year-old babe. 'Now I have a £750,000 home, a £20,000 car, nice big bed and plasma big screen TV, but I'm sleeping with a 55-year-old woman. It seems to me that you're not holding up your side of things.' My wife is a very reasonable woman. She told me to go out and find a hot 25- year-old babe, and she would make sure that I would once again be living in a cheap apartment, driving a cheap car, sleeping on a sofa bed and watching a 10-inch black and white TV. Aren't older women great? They really know how to solve a mid-life crisis.