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duz tha speak yorkshure?

Superuser
Superuser
Posts: 2,587
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Registered: 10-04-2007

duz tha speak yorkshure?


A few ideas for the next set of Plusnet TV ads?

Police have just released details of a new drug craze that is being carried out in Yorkshire nightclubs.   Apparently, Yorkshire club goers have started injecting Ecstasy just above their front teeth.
Police say the dangerous practice is called "e by gum"


...
A Yorkshire man takes his cat to the vet.
Yorkshire man: "Ayup, lad, I need to talk to thee about me cat."
Vet: "Is it a tom?"
Yorkshire man: "Nay, I've browt it wi' us."

...
A Yorkshire man’s dog dies and as it was a favourite pet he decides to have a gold statue made by a jeweller to remember the dog by.
Yorkshire man: "Can tha mek us a gold statue of yon dog?"
Jeweller: "Do you want it 18 carat?"
Yorkshire man: "No I want it chewin' a bone yer daft [Censored]!"

...
A Yorkshire man’s wife dies and the widower decides that her headstone should have the words "She were thine" engraved on it.
He calls the stone mason, who assures him that the headstone will be ready a few days after the funeral.
True to his word the stone mason calls the widower to say that the headstone is ready and would he like to come and have a look..
When the widower gets there he takes one look at the stone to see that it's been engraved  "She were thin".
He explodes: "'ells bells man, you've left the bloody "e" out, you've left the bloody "e" out!"
The stone mason apologises profusely and assures the poor widower that it will be rectified the following morning.
Next day comes and the widower returns to the stone mason: "There you go sir, I've put the "e" on the stone for you".
The widower looks at the stone and then reads out aloud:
"E, she were thin".
...
Bloke from Barnsley with piles asks chemist "Nah then lad, does tha sell arse cream?"
Chemist replies "Aye, Magnum or Cornetto?"

Let's hope the sun shines this weekend Grin
10 REPLIES
shalom2010
Grafter
Posts: 972
Registered: 28-12-2012

Re: duz tha speak yorkshure?

"E, she were thin" Smiley Like that joke the best!
alanf
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Re: duz tha speak yorkshure?

There's Yorkshire and Yorkshire. Listen to a programme about a search for the House / arse interface. "Arse cream" gets a mention.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b01ljwm4
Moderator
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Re: duz tha speak yorkshure?

Quote from: shalom2010
"E, she were thin" Smiley Like that joke the best!

Liked the Magnum/Cornetto better. Laughed out loud at that one Grin Grin

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Re: duz tha speak yorkshure?

Where we used to live, before York, was full of North Riding Yorkshire and it's bloody awful! Afraid I have no time for broad Yorkshire.
Bunch of woodentops who take great pleasure in talking in an impossible-to-understand dialect.
South Yorkshire (Sheffield) may be better, The West Riding certainly isn't!
Geoff,
York.
shalom2010
Grafter
Posts: 972
Registered: 28-12-2012

Re: duz tha speak yorkshure?

My all time favourite accent has got to Jane Horrocks born in Rawtenstall, Lancashire. Love it Smiley
Community Veteran
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Registered: 20-10-2012

Re: duz tha speak yorkshure?

She was brilliant in Little Voice!  Grin
Geoff,
York.
shalom2010
Grafter
Posts: 972
Registered: 28-12-2012

Re: duz tha speak yorkshure?

I think she was great in Cabaret (1993 - http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0436153/). Better be careful this is going off the subject of accents!
Community Veteran
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Registered: 11-08-2007

Re: duz tha speak yorkshure?

Quote from: shalom2010
Better be careful this is going off the subject of accents!

Are you changing the subject before someone tries imitating the Chigwell accent ? -
French & Saunders  impersonating  Sharon & Tracey from "Birds Of A Feather" - a series set in Chigwe...
Cheesy
shalom2010
Grafter
Posts: 972
Registered: 28-12-2012

Re: duz tha speak yorkshure?

I don't think so!
kdoug007
Grafter
Posts: 510
Registered: 17-05-2012

Re: duz tha speak yorkshure?

im  having  roast  beef and  yorkshire  pudding  later...
  when    i  eat  the  puds  i always  think  of  my  PN...
tasty,  full of  flavour  and i  never  get  fed up with Cheesy