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You need to read this!

Community Veteran
Posts: 13,923
Thanks: 515
Fixes: 7
Registered: 01-08-2007

You need to read this!

Quote
I'm in a financial fix so decided to setup my own business.. in the payday loan sector!
So... Please borrow as much as you can from me so i can charge you a sky high interest rate (before thats banned) and make lots of profit from you at your expense! The more money you've got, the higher your interest rate! The poorer you are, the higher still your interest rate!
Nobody is refused, anyone accepted! I just want to get you into as much debt as possible so that I can live off your hard work and enslave you for life!!!
Can I lend you a fiver? Infact I'll double it and lend you a tenner! 40,000% interest and if you don't repay by the end of the week, i'll get my fake law firm (Yes thats right I'm such a tight ass that i refuse to hire real dodgy law firms to keep every extra penny myself) to threaten you with all sorts of scary stuff! Everything from beatings in the back yard where there's no lights to imprisonment via dodgy officials. Nothing is off the cards when you borrow from 7upFinance! So don't delay, apply today, thats 7upFinance.. Remember that name when you've nothing to gain!

Also...

I'm opening my own gambling business too! Sign up now and i'll give you the most generous industry welcoming gift of £150 to gamble with! You can only spend it on existing bets (eg you bet a tenner, i'll match it with a tenner) and any winnings from that money can't be withdrawn until you win at least three times (at that point i'll give up and accept you're a financial loss to me so you can take it and get lost). Signup now at 7upBingo and have a fantastic time loosing playing with  my your money!
Just imagine yourself sitting on your sofa with your tablet computer with all your friends all sitting their smiling having a wonderful time gambling giving your money away to 7upBingo... Come on, don't be shy sign up now and have a great time!
Whats more if you get your friends to signup too I'll get even richer and I'll give you a pittance of £10 for your efforts (again you can only gamble that with me so i don't really loose anything). Come on, why are you waiting? Join 7upBingo TODAY!!!


Oh and one other final business...

I'm setting up an employment agency too! This is an exciting time for us at 7upRecruitment, we're in the fast paced recruitment industry and we want you to sign up and send in your CV asap for a completely false job we're advertising as bait to draw you in and get you on our books so we can get paid at short notice when we get something real come in. Send in your CV now and we'll even do you a huge favour and not use your details for dodgy financial scams when you send them to us via the jobcentre website! Plus if you apply today (or in the next half an hour) we'll even leave you off our completely made up statistics about how many british people refuse to take our completely false jobs! Thats just a few of the perks you can expect from 7upRecruitment Wink
Here at 7upRecruitment we're also in bed with the government and have plenty of apprenticeships fully funded by the government for your little bratlets to loose all their hopes and life aspirations on. Just some of our *FANTASTIC* opportunities are barwork, answering the phone on a switchboard, sweeping the streets, polishing rich peoples shoes and our most prized placement: cleaning the sewers! After your apprenticeship is complete we might actually send you a dodgy looking certificate that we had a 4 year old design for us (we even charged her £2.50 pocket money and 3 of her smarties for the privilege).
So apply online or come and see us face to face.. whatever job you're after for as little as possible, we're sure we can find you just the right job to help us live off your hard work. As long as you're a hard worker, don't expect any form of reward and believe that only the rich should enjoy life (and your pension) then we're guaranteed to have the right position for YOU! So why delay? Make contact TODAY!!!!!!  !!! !!!!!!!!! management order: Put in lots of exciting looking ! things to make us look great and then delete this comment so there is no trace of our dodginess So don't delay, make contact today!
7upFinance, 7upBingo and 7upRecruitment are subsidiaries of 7upCommercial Services Ltd. We pay absolutely zero tax to our country whatsoever because CEOs salary exceeds our income. We even pay our staff using an overdraft that won't be repaid when we fold any monies you have left with us will also be lost. Registered address: 7 7upDown St, ConMerchants, Conshire, CON15 ON


To think.. in this day and age I could probably get away with it and be awarded a peerage  Roll eyes
I need a new signature... i'm bored of the old one!
3 REPLIES
Community Veteran
Posts: 16,845
Thanks: 1,130
Fixes: 13
Registered: 06-11-2007

Re: You need to read this!

Ah, but... they will fail.... because you haven`t got a telephone directory company (that has two numbers the same )...  to charge oundles of pounds for information you can get from the internet for free...
AND.... you don`t have an office in Nigeria, very close to the deposed leader  Cheesy  who has an enormous sum of money from his "investments" to back up your original money squandering firm  Shocked
Community Veteran
Posts: 13,923
Thanks: 515
Fixes: 7
Registered: 01-08-2007

Re: You need to read this!

I won't need any of that though shutter.
As long as you british mugs fall for it i'll be grand Wink
All i really need to succeed is a MP for a friend and i'll be untouchable... that or i move to Essex  Cheesy
I need a new signature... i'm bored of the old one!
rongtw
Seasoned Hero
Posts: 6,332
Thanks: 1,155
Fixes: 11
Registered: 01-12-2010

Re: You need to read this!

Or you could gain a eastern European ID card , contact DWP make a claim , then sit at home counting payments into your bank  Wink
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