I just heard that Battersey Dogs Home has called in the retrievers! How do you convince people that you own a dog? Carry a bag of manure around with you. My dog thinks he's a blacksmith cause every time I kick his backside he makes a bolt for the door. Top ten reasons for choosing a dog over a woman... 10. A dog's parents will never visit you. 9. A dog loves you when you leave your clothes on the floor. 8. A dog limits its time in the bathroom to a quick drink. 7. A dog never expects you to telephone. 6. A dog will not get mad at you if you forget its birthday. 5. A dog does not care about the previous dogs in your life. 4. A dog does not get mad at you if you pet another dog. 3. A dog never expects flowers on Valentine's Day. 2. The later you are, the happier a dog is to see you. 1. A dog does not shop.