cancel
Showing results for 
Search instead for 
Did you mean: 

Volcano Jokes

Community Veteran
Posts: 38,251
Thanks: 937
Fixes: 56
Registered: 15-06-2007

Volcano Jokes

Just saw this http://www.telegraph.co.uk/travel/7613510/Iceland-volcano-ten-of-the-best-and-worst-jokes-on-the-int...
Quote
It’s a bit early for Iceland volcano jokes. We should wait awhile for the dust to settle.
I see that America has declared war on Iceland. Apparently they are accusing them of harbouring a “weapon of ash eruption”.
It was the last wish of the Icelandic economy that its ashes be spread over Europe.
Iceland goes bankrupt, then it manages to set itself on fire. This has insurance scam written all over it.
Iceland, we wanted your cash, not your ash.
Waiter, there's volcanic ash in my soup. I know, it's a no-fly zone.
Richard Curtis is working on a new rom-com about people stuck in an airport who fall in love. The working title is "Lava Actually".
I came out my house yesterday and was hit on the head by a bag of frozen sausages, a chocolate gateau and some fish fingers. I realised it must be the fallout from Iceland.
Volcano in Iceland. What next Earthquake in Asda?
Woke this morning to find every surface in the house covered in a layer of dust and a foul stench of sulphur in the air. No change, I’ve been married to that bone-idle slob for 20 years.
I am sure you can find a few more
6 REPLIES
WildRose52
Grafter
Posts: 507
Registered: 23-02-2010

Re: Volcano Jokes


Excellent jokes Jim.
Loombucket
Grafter
Posts: 314
Registered: 09-06-2007

Re: Volcano Jokes

Grin Grin
198kHz
Seasoned Pro
Posts: 3,217
Thanks: 253
Fixes: 7
Registered: 30-07-2008

Re: Volcano Jokes

Grin  especially the 'soup' one.
Not young enough to know everything
WildRose52
Grafter
Posts: 507
Registered: 23-02-2010

Re: Volcano Jokes


Red sky at night, cancelled flight.

I can't wait until it rains!
Free Volvic!

It must be great for the British Airways cabin crew, getting a few days off strike.

With all the ash falling on Britain isn't it ironic that the citizens have to step into a pub now for some smoke free air?


BBC News: Ash cloud moving towards America.
Ah there it is at last, the silver lining.
Steve
Seasoned Pro
Posts: 6,697
Thanks: 250
Registered: 13-07-2009

Re: Volcano Jokes

What did the mama volcano say to the baby volcano? "don't erupt while I'm talking."
What did one volcano say to the other? "I lava you"
WildRose52
Grafter
Posts: 507
Registered: 23-02-2010

Re: Volcano Jokes


I`m voting for the icelandic volcano party
It`s done more to stop immigration in the past 5 days than labour has done in the past 10yrs