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Typical over-reaction?

David_W
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Registered: 19-07-2007

Typical over-reaction?

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/wear/8334572.stm
Yes, its a tragedy that the a poor girl was murdered and my sympathies go to the family, but why the over-reaction?  Why blame Facebook when its obvious the parent wasn't watching their child...
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She had about 400 friends on Facebook but she knew every single one of them.

400 friends but knew every single one of them?  I find that pretty unlikely that a 17 year old knows 400 people!
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We can't imagine how she got to be friends with someone she didn't know

Because the odds are 370 people on her friends thing are strangers who get added as a friend of a friend, then a friend of a friend of a friend, then "hey, you know X and Y, Z does too". 
I have a friend I know online through FFXI who is *terrified* of people on the internet who thinks every single one of them is a weirdo out to do her harm (I don't have the heart to point out she is one of those people on the internet........) because of stories like this.  Some level of caution is always a good thing, but having 400 friends of which the vast majority will be friends of a friend (or a stranger) and then placing blame on someone else, grrrr.
Again my sympathies go out to the family, but I really wish the press would get some perspective >.<
14 REPLIES
scootie
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Registered: 03-11-2007

Re: Typical over-reaction?

Quote
We trusted Facebook and she was always told never to add a stranger as a friend.

allways dangerous to take what the news say, but the we trusted facebook quote gets me.
what was the parents trusting facebook would do?
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Re: Typical over-reaction?

Quote from: ASBO
Quote
We trusted Facebook and she was always told never to add a stranger as a friend.


Similar to the deaths of our soldiers in a war zone ?
(We trust the MOD, not to send our soldiers into placees where they might get hurt.....? )  Aw come on.... they  (the soldiers) join the army, fully expecting to shoot at someone else, and not get shot at themselves?  They know what they are signing up for when they go to the recruiting office, and have the option to decline......
Yes, I agree, sympathy to the family, but as already noted, this girl was 17, and obviously knew what she was doing, meeting a stranger off the internet, and concealing it from her parents by lying about her intended whereabouts, [quote ......"after she claimed she was staying with a friend. " unquote ]  and then her mother says to be home by 10.30 
I see the "suspect" has also been charged with not notifying the police of a change of address.....wonder which will bring down the biggest sentence, if convicted.....
David_W
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Re: Typical over-reaction?

I have a 14 year old niece (15 in a couple of days) and she uses MSN (I've told her mother to not let her have facebook or anything like that) and I checked her profile, she had added the town she lives in, where she may start working, the fact she goes to a certain club activity etc.  I had a major go at her about putting personal information like that on the internet (and I think she *still* doesn't understand why I was telling her off) but thats me taking an active responsibility in trying to ensure she is safe on the internet.  If she was to get facebook or myspace, I'd make sure her mother knew every person on her friends list and if her mother didn't know any, and my niece couldn't say "oh, thats Bob he's in my class at school" or whatever, then I'd make sure her mother took facebook away.
It only takes a modicum of responsibility for people on that there internet, a bit of common sense.  if you are going to meet someone, don't go alone, make sure your friends know where you are, as well as your parents (even if you're over 18!), take friends with you, meet in a place that is very public.  if you need to lie to your parents that you are going to meet someone off the internet then that in itself should be a huge sign that you shouldn't be doing it in the first place.
But yet again the internet and applications on the internet are being treated as "bad" because people seem unable to take responsibility for their own actions, the girl should *never* have met the guy unless she was 100% safe and secure meeting him.
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Re: Typical over-reaction?

100% agrree  Wink
Community Veteran
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Registered: 11-08-2007

Re: Typical over-reaction?

yep.  i agree.  on the one hand we groan endlessly about the 'nanny state' and then people expect to be taken care of from cradle to grave, never taking responsibility for their own actions.  one or t'other.  can't have both.
mentalist3d
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Registered: 20-08-2009

Re: Typical over-reaction?

my sympathies with the family but where was the common sense? One of my in-laws 15yr old daughter was invited through to Edinburgh (about 30 miles away) on a Friday night by some young lad (or was pretending to be), the father didn't allow it based on the fact she isn't traveling a long distance to meet a stranger who could potentially be someone dangerous. She argued that they were best friends, she only knew him for about a week through a Social Networking site and MSN chat. Needless to say she isn't allowed to go through, however if the lad wishes to visit them in their house, he is more than welcome, and at least her parents can make a proper judgement call.
The kids using these sites seem quite naive to the dangers they potentially face in these situations and are way to trusting, she never once assumed that the person may not be who they say they are, and usually base their judgement from one profile picture and a few words they've messaged back and forth. One time you only had to be streetwise, nowadays you have to be internet wise as well.
pierre_pierre
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Registered: 30-07-2007

Re: Typical over-reaction?

Its just as bad on these Forums, you have no real way to tell the sex or age of the poster, you might have been conversing for ages, seen the picture avatars, looke at the profile, no sex or age,  then they put a nome on the sig, Whoops thought they were the other gender.
JMDLP, POPPY for instance, I have met both of those so I know.  CaptainKirk took me a long time to find the name was Tracy and a female.
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Re: Typical over-reaction?

Quote from: pierre_pierre
CaptainKirk took me a long time to find the name was Tracy and a female.

Well, that's just ruined that illusion. Star Trek will never be the same again Cry

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pierre_pierre
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Re: Typical over-reaction?

seems to to have disappeared into the Suffolk mist
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Captainkirk
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Re: Typical over-reaction?

Probably no internet connection from whatever far flung part of the galaxy she is currently travelling.
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Re: Typical over-reaction?

Have to disagree John
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Tyreal74
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Registered: 31-07-2007

Re: Typical over-reaction?

Probably an overreaction but in retrospect i ahve 300 friends or so on facebook and i legitimately know every single one of them, an dive known 200+ since school so it is a possibility
David_W
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Re: Typical over-reaction?

Maybe, but if the 74 is your year of birth that makes you 35 years old and not 17 so you'll have years worth of contacts through work, social activity, school, college, university, friends of friends, friends of your partner etc.. which all adds up, a 17 year old shouldn't really have 400 friends unless they add everyone from their school, but the proof is in the fact the guy that killed her was on her facebook and a stranger so its legitimate that she had added strangers to her friends list.  Everyone on my facebook profile I know, they are either family or close friends, I won't add people because they know someone I know for instance, and I'm 33! Shocked
Tyreal74
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Registered: 31-07-2007

Re: Typical over-reaction?

actually im only 27 Smiley 74 is my lucky number