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True or False stories

DE5T1NY
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Registered: ‎27-03-2019

True or False stories

Hello Everyone

Lets have some humour, you might have to use goggle to get the grif of some of my jokes/stories lets see if its true or false, type anything you want as your story and let others decide if it's true/false. As an example I'll start with this one.

Just remembered why I fell out with Ireland, they where the first country in the world to institute an outright ban on smoking in workplaces on this day 15 years ago. Never smoked myself but did made a fortune selling cheap fags in Cork before the ban. (They were called Cork tips)

True or False

 

Good luck (A saying we use to wish you well)

47 REPLIES 47
shutter
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Re: True or False stories

Quote, ( from Queen Victoria ).....

 

"We are not amused  Sad"

 

 

Cheesy

Minivanman
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Re: True or False stories

OK, I'm game - and this really is a true story, maybe.

Turns out that Sean, a local man had won £100 million on the national lottery but did no know it.
Aware he has a bad ticker his friends are afraid to tell him in case the shock kills him.
"I know what we should do" suggests one of his his friends, "we'll ask our local priest to tell him as he's used to doing these sort of things in a careful and sympathetic way"
So with that they arrange for the priest to have a word with him and break the news to him gently.
Anyway, they meet up and the priest says "Hi Sean, how are you, and by the way I hear you used to do the lottery"
"Yes" said Sean, "In fact I bought a ticket a few weeks ago but I have not checked it yet"
"Well if by chance the good Lord gave you the gift of a £100 million win, what would your do with all that money?"
"Ah, in that should happen, then I would give half of it to your church" - and with that the priest dropped dead.

Hand on heart, I heard it down the pub. Wink


Don't limit the friends you haven't met with arguments you'll never have.
DE5T1NY
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Registered: ‎27-03-2019

Re: True or False stories

Hello Everyone

Sounds feasible Minivanman

While walking down the Crumlin Rd in Belfast in the mid 80's there was an almighty bang, and old woman I was walking behind turned round and asked "was that thunder or a bomb" when I told her "I think it was a bomb" she replied "thank god I hate thunder"

Good luck

Minivanman
Aspiring Legend
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Re: True or False stories

Heads up Guys.

There is now an online petition to rename the House of Commons 'The Shambles'.

Just go to https://www.change.org/start-a-petition-shambles to register.

You know it makes sense. Thumbs_Up


Don't limit the friends you haven't met with arguments you'll never have.
gleneagles
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Re: True or False stories

@Minivanman 

That simply cannot happen.

The Shambles is a street in York and the name is protected by law.

To my knowledge, The house of fools is not protected and that might be a more apt name

We are born into history and history is born into us.
Minivanman
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Re: True or False stories

Indeed it is, I was in York last year and it really is quite facinating. 

House of fools sounds just about right.


Don't limit the friends you haven't met with arguments you'll never have.
DE5T1NY
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Re: True or False stories

Hello Everyone

The Shambles is mentioned in William The Conqueror's Doomsday book and virtually unchanged since about 1400.

First used in the New Testament for a slaughter-house; then a butcher's stall, meat-market.

Good luck

DE5T1NY
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Re: True or False stories

@shutter wrote:

Quote, ( from Queen Victoria ).....

 

"We are not amused  Sad"

 

 

Cheesy

Hello @shutter

I'm going for true on this one, but found this on the web

The evidence to support the idea that Queen Victoria originated the expression 'we are not amused' lies somewhere between thin and non-existent. 

It don't say she never said it. Thumbs_Up

Good luck

DE5T1NY
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Posts: 134
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Registered: ‎27-03-2019

Re: True or False stories

Hello Everyone

While aboard the seacat ferry on a family journey from Belfast to Scotland, my mum (in her 70s then) turned to my sister and asked her "did you bring your new durex batteries with you,"

Once we picked ourselves of the floor we realist she meant duracell batteries for the camera, didn't stop my sister from having a red face the whole trip.

Good luck

Jonpe
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Re: True or False stories

Kenny Everett used to present a few (three I think) unlikely stories for listeners to guess the one true one.

Here's one of the ones he broadcast:  A priest in Denmark had had an amalgam filling put in one of his teeth, but it picked up radio signals which were amplified by the priest's oral cavity.  One Sunday in church he opened his mouth to give his sermon and the soundtrack from an adult movie came out of his mouth.

True or false?

Minivanman
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Re: True or False stories

I'll go with technically possible, but highly unlikely to have happened. Roll_eyes


Don't limit the friends you haven't met with arguments you'll never have.
DE5T1NY
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Re: True or False stories


@Jonpe wrote:

Kenny Everett used to present a few (three I think) unlikely stories for listeners to guess the one true one.

Here's one of the ones he broadcast:  A priest in Denmark had had an amalgam filling put in one of his teeth, but it picked up radio signals which were amplified by the priest's oral cavity.  One Sunday in church he opened his mouth to give his sermon and the soundtrack from an adult movie came out of his mouth.

True or false?


Hello @Jonpe 

 

Being a Catholic himself and unlike Dave Allan he was never excommunicate from the church, I'll go false.

 

Good luck

DE5T1NY
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Registered: ‎27-03-2019

Re: True or False stories

Hello Everyone

In the 80's Me and the mate spent 7 days in Castlereagh interrogation centre, because my mate give a soldier patrol his real name at a check point.

Can anyone guess his name ? Clue B.... K... answer around 3pm.

If anyone needs to look up "mate" in the Cambridge English Dictionary on google, please choose option 2 and not 1

Good luck

Minivanman
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Re: True or False stories

@DE5T1NY 

Re: Your mate.

Brian Keenan?


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