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Time to retire?

Minivanman
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Posts: 4,794
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Registered: 04-11-2014

Time to retire?

Jeff had been in business for 25 years. Finally sick of the stress, he quits and buys 50 acres of land in Alaska as far from humanity as possible. He sees the postman once a week and gets groceries once a month, otherwise it's total peace and quiet. After six months or so of almost total isolation, there comes a knock on his door. He opens it and a huge, bearded man is standing there.

"Name's Stan, your neighbor from forty miles up the road. Having a Christmas party Friday night. Thought you might like to come at about 5:00."
“Great," says Jeff. "After six months out here I'm ready to meet some local folks. Thank you."
As Stan is leaving, he stops. "Gotta warn you. Be some drinkin’."
“Not a problem," says Jeff. "After 25 years in business, I can drink with the best of 'em."
Again the big man starts to leave and stops. "More 'n' likely gonna be some fightin' too."
"Well I get along with people. I'll be all right, and if not, I can handle myself pretty well. I'll be there. Thanks again."
"More 'n’ likely be some wild sex too."
"Now that's really not a problem," says Jeff, warming to the idea. "I've been all alone for six months. I'll definitely be there. By the way, what should I wear?"

"Don't much matter. Just gonna be the two of us."

Cheesy

All views expressed are my own but you can express them too if you want to be right about everything like I am.
2 REPLIES
Community Veteran
Posts: 13,920
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Registered: 01-08-2007

Re: Time to retire?

EEEeeeeewwwwwwww!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I need a new signature... i'm bored of the old one!
Minivanman
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Posts: 4,794
Thanks: 1,046
Fixes: 1
Registered: 04-11-2014

Re: Time to retire?

What deep things retired men think about.
 
'I mowed the lawn today, and after doing so I sat down and had a cold beer.
The day was really quite beautiful, and the drink facilitated some deep thinking.
 
My wife walked by and asked me what I was doing, and I said, "Nothing." 
The reason I said "nothing" instead of saying "just thinking" is because she then would have asked, "About what?"  At that point I would have had to explain that men are deep thinkers about various topics, which would lead to other questions.
 
Finally I pondered an age old question: Is giving birth more painful than getting kicked in the nuts?
Women always maintain that giving birth is way more painful than a guy getting kicked in the nuts, but how could they know? 
 
Well, after another beer, and some more heavy deductive thinking, I have come up with an answer to that question.
Getting kicked in the nuts is more painful than having a baby, and even though I obviously couldn't really know, here is the reason for my conclusion. 
 
A year or so after giving birth, a woman will often say, "It might be nice to have another child."
On the other hand, you never hear a guy say, "You know, I think I would like another kick in the nuts.
 
I rest my case.  Time for another beer, and then maybe a nap'
All views expressed are my own but you can express them too if you want to be right about everything like I am.