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Time it takes to do a simple job

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Time it takes to do a simple job

Have you ever done a job which you thought would take minutes only to discover it took you a lot longer.
Todays task was to change the cars side light bulb, dead easy 2 minutes of a job but..........
On inserting the new bulb it somehow came out of it's holder and fell into the main headlight enclosure, first 30 minutes was spent with a wire and bluetack but that failed to work as did a small magnet attached to the end of the wire, removal of the headlight looked to be the final option but that entailed considerable work, then a bulb must have lit up in my brain as I remembered buying a flexible grabber years ago which I have never used before, result bulb recovered in less than a minute.
So if you ever change a bulb, and yes I have changed several in my time, just remember this tale.
19 REPLIES
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Re: Time it takes to do a simple job

I had an ABS sensor on a Megané fail.
Simply remove the single screw, one connector and remove the sensor from it's hole in the wheel hub....yeah Roll eyes
20 minutes of carefully applied heat and oil and the single screw was removed (I didn't want it shearing off in the threaded hole)
2 hours chipping away with a small chisel at the totally seized in sensor, removing it bit by bit. Cleaned up the hole and applied a trace of copper-slip.
5 minutes to insert the new sensor, screw and connector.
On a brand new car it would have been 15 minutes tops including jacking up and wheel removal.
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Re: Time it takes to do a simple job

Yeah... had a similar experience with a stop and tail bulb...... horrible place to try to manouver your hand, especially if a big hand... no room for error.... bulb dropped into a void, below the light fitting unit.... then when I tried to get my hand down into the void.... hand almost got stuck... and managed to knock the bulb into another void below, somewhere in the rear valance.... and that is where it remained... I had to go to the car shop ( not halfords) and get another bulb... took a bit more care with the second one....
There are probably a 100 other similar "quick jobs " over the years....  Cheesy
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Re: Time it takes to do a simple job

Oh yeah i've had some nasty little jobs like that..
Removing the windscreen wiper arm.. simple job, undo the nut, wobble loose and lift off. I does the wobbly bit and the damn thing snaps off instead leaving the base of the arm still on the post Shocked Took me ages to find someone with a puller and then it turned out to be my neighbour just up the road  Roll eyes
A leak repair in the drivers footwell got a bit out of hand too.. what was supposed to be a rubber gromit that had slipped out of place ended up becoming an entire front cabin disassembly - chairs out, centre consoles out, carpet up, wheel arch in bits... - I finally found the leak 2-3 months ago and sealed it up but the car still isn't back together properly - just in case (though i'm certain with all the rain lately that its finally solved i'm just lacking the weather / motivation / health to finish it).
A dead CD changer turned into a pig too.. bought another one off ebay.. also didn't work. Grabbed another from an identical model.. i knew that worked.. put that in and it also didn't work. Swapped head units, that didn't work, ripped out the mobile phone kit, that half brought it to life so i knew i was getting close.. finally replaced the lead between the two units and that didn't work either. Approx six weeks later i finally tracked it down to a wire in the roof that was rubbing against a sharp bit of metal and grounding itself  Roll eyes
Oh then I've done a shock absorber replacement.. tighten up the nut on the top of the new shock with the allen key in the middle only to find that the allen key rounds out the hexagonal hole and then the damn thing has to go all the way back to the supplier for an exchange because the manufacturer didn't harden it enough  Roll eyes
(Old style) Ford Ka headlight bulbs.. what a PITA they are. A menace in every meaning of the word. I've been known to spend over an hour trying to get the plastic cover back on the back of the headlight after swapping the bulb... a real annoyance. The speedo cable on the back of the dashboard unit is just as bad too.
Yeah... I hate some of these small 'simple' jobs  Wink
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Re: Time it takes to do a simple job

I think I'll stick to hard very difficult jobs.
Much easier than the simple ones.
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Re: Time it takes to do a simple job

Last time I had to change a headlight bulb (2009 VW Fox) I spent about thirty minutes struggling with the clip before remembering that last time I had this problem it's because you have to pull the clip up rather than push it down to spring it open.
I wonder if next time I have to do it I'll have the same battle.
At least the brake / rear side light is all thumbscrews, but with no directions on which way up the bulb has to go, so last time that went I was driving round with a brake light always on. It's a good thing I reverse back to my garage door so I spotted it before I was pulled for it (which I had been before for the same problem on a Ford Fiesta).
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Re: Time it takes to do a simple job

I had a problem with the rear nearside indicator on my Focus.
It stopped working so I changed the bulb which fixed it.
The following day it failed again so I checked the bulb which appeared to be ok, put it back in and it worked.
An hour later it failed again. I checked the contacts in the holder and they looked fine.
I put a meter on the holder contacts with the indicator going and it was a bit inconclusive.
An auto electrician neighbour came and had a look. He put a probe on various points and declared the holder faulty.
I bought a new one and everything is now fine.
I took the old holder apart and noted that there weren't solid paths between the bulb contacts in the holder and the socket contacts for the wiring.....a poor design.
It turned a 2 minute bulb change into nearly a week of diagnostics and frustration.  
The auto electrician told me that when the onboard computer detects a short or open circuit on a line it disables that line.
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Re: Time it takes to do a simple job

Been there done most of them.
Have you read the Haynes manual real meanings?
HAYNES MANUAL - THE REAL MEANINGS
For those of us that have ever used a Haynes Manual (or Clymer or Chilton equivalents) in attempting home maintenance of a car or motorbike. For those who havn't used a Haynes Manual, these are the books aimed at those who want to fix their own vehicles and which keep qualified mechanics in paid employment putting things right afterwards. They are chock full of photos, diagrams and step-by-step instructions which are obvious if you are a fully qualified motor mechanic, but which are frighteningly sparse on detail for the average Joe in the street who wants to change a set of spark plugs on a 1981 VW Polo ....
Haynes: Rotate anticlockwise.
Translation: Clamp with molegrips (adjustable wrench) then beat repeatedly with hammer anticlockwise. You do know which way is anticlockwise, don't you?
Haynes: Should remove easily.
Translation: Will be corroded into place ... clamp with adjustable wrench then beat repeatedly with a hammer.
Haynes: Remove small retaining clip.
Translation: Take off 15 years of stubborn crud, it's there somewhere.
Haynes: This is a snug fit.
Translation: You will skin your knuckles! ... Clamp with adjustable wrench then beat repeatedly with hammer.
Haynes: This is a tight fit.
Translation: Not a hope in hell matey! ... Clamp with adjustable wrench then beat repeatedly with hammer.
Haynes: As described in Chapter 7...
Translation: That'll teach you not to read through before you start, now you are looking at scarey photos of the inside of a gearbox.
Haynes: Locate ...
Translation: This photo of a hex nut is the only clue we're giving you.
Haynes: Pry...
Translation: Hammer a screwdriver into...
Haynes: Undo...
Translation: Go buy a tin of WD40 (catering size).
Haynes: Ease ...
Translation: Apply superhuman strength to ...
Haynes: Retain tiny spring...
Translation: "Jeez what was that, it nearly had my eye out"!
Haynes: Press and rotate to remove bulb...
Translation: OK - that's the glass bit off, now fetch some good pliers to dig out the bayonet part and remaining glass shards.
Haynes: Lightly...
Translation: Start off lightly and build up till the veins on your forehead are throbbing then re-check the manual because what you are doing now cannot be considered "lightly".
Haynes: Weekly checks...
Translation: If it isn't broken don't fix it!
Haynes: Routine maintenance...
Translation: If it isn't broken... it's about to be!
Haynes: One spanner rating (simple).
Translation: Your Mum could do this... so how did you manage to botch it up?
Haynes: Two spanner rating.
Translation: Now you may think that you can do this because two is a low, tiny, ikkle number... but you also thought that the wiring diagram was a map of the Tokyo underground (in fact that would have been more use to you).
Haynes: Three spanner rating (intermediate).
Translation: Make sure you won't need your car for a couple of days and that your AA cover includes Home Start.
Translation: But Novas are easy to maintain right... right? So you think three Nova spanners has got to be like a 'regular car' two spanner job.
Haynes: Four spanner rating.
Translation: You are seriously considering this aren't you, you pleb!
Haynes: Five spanner rating (expert).
Translation: OK - but don't expect us to ride it afterwards!!!
Translation #2: Don't ever carry your loved ones in it again and don't mention it to your insurance company.
Haynes: If not, you can fabricate your own special tool like this...
Translation: Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!
Haynes: Compress...
Translation: Squeeze with all your might, jump up and down on, swear at, throw at the garage wall, then search for it in the dark corner of the garage whilst muttering "bugger" repeatedly under your breath.
Haynes: Inspect...
Translation: Squint at really hard and pretend you know what you are looking at, then declare in a loud knowing voice to your wife "Yep, as I thought, it's going to need a new one"!
Haynes: Carefully...
Translation: You are about to cut yourself!
Haynes: Retaining nut...
Translation: Yes, that's it, that big spherical blob of rust.
Haynes: Get an assistant...
Translation: Prepare to humiliate yourself in front of someone you know.
Haynes: Turning the engine will be easier with the spark plugs removed.
Translation: However, starting the engine afterwards will be much harder. Once that sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach has subsided, you can start to feel deeply ashamed as you gingerly refit the spark plugs.
Haynes: Refitting is the reverse sequence to removal.
Translation: But you swear in different places.
Haynes: Locate securing bolt.
Translation: Remember that worrying noise when you drove along the A38 last summer? That's where you'll find the securing bolt.
Haynes: Prise away plastic locating pegs...
Translation: Snap off...
Haynes: Remove drum retaining pin.
Translation: Break every screwdriver in your box.
Haynes: Using a suitable drift or pin-punch...
Translation: The biggest nail in your tool box isn't a suitable drift!
Haynes: Everyday toolkit
Translation: Ensure you have an RAC Card & Mobile Phone
Haynes: Apply moderate heat...
Translation: Placing your mouth near it and huffing isn't moderate heat.
Translation #2: Heat up until glowing red, if it still doesn't come undone use a hacksaw.
Translation #3: Unless you have a blast furnace, don't bother. Clamp with adjustable wrench then beat repeatedly with hammer.
Haynes: Index
Translation: List of all the things in the book bar the thing you want to do!
Haynes: Remove oil filter using an oil filter chain wrench or length of bicycle chain.
Translation: Stick a screwdriver through it and beat handle repeatedly with a hammer.
Haynes: Replace old gasket with a new one.
Translation: I know I've got a tube of Krazy Glue around here somewhere.
Haynes: Grease well before refitting.
Translation: Spend an hour searching for your tub of grease before chancing upon a bottle of washing-up liquid (dish soap). Wipe some congealed washing up liquid from the dispenser nozzle and use that since it's got a similar texture and will probably get you to Halfords to buy some Castrol grease.
Haynes: See illustration for details
Translation: None of the illustrations notes will match the pictured exploded, numbered parts. The unit illustrated is from a previous or variant model. The actual location of the unit is never given.
Haynes: Drain off all fluids before removing cap.
Translation: Visit bathroom, spit on ground, remove baseball cap in order to scratch head in perplexity.
Haynes: Top up fluids.
Translation: Drink 2 cans of beer and call out a mobile mechanic to undo the damage.
For Added Haynes Fun, go to the first section "Safety First" and read the bit about Hydrofluoric Acid. Would you really trust the advice of a book that uses this form of understatement?
The best one I encountered was how to change a brake sensor in a Ford Fiesta Popular Plus. The photo showing the location of the unit failed to mention the crucial detail of whether the item was located in the engine compartment or inside the car ..... and the helpful photo of what the thing looked like didn't give the reader any clues!

THE CONDENSED HAYNES MANUAL
All makes and models post-2000
For a modern car chock full of electronics, all that's in the Haynes Manual (aka "The Haynes Bumper Book of Jokes") is:
Routine Service: Take it to a main dealer and hand over a large amount of cash.
Advanced Service: Open the bonnet. Decide all that stuff is far too scary. Proceed with routine service (see above).

HAYNES GUIDE TO TOOLS OF THE TRADE
HAMMER: Originally employed as a weapon of war, the hammer is nowadays used as a kind of divining rod to locate expensive parts not far from the object we are trying to hit.
MECHANIC'S KNIFE: Used to open and slice through the contents of cardboard cartons delivered to your front door; works particularly well on boxes containing seats, motorcycle jackets, vinyl records, liquids in plastic bottles, collector magazines, refund checks, and rubber or plastic parts. Especially useful for slicing work clothes, but only while in use.
ELECTRIC HAND DRILL: Normally used for spinning steel Pop rivets in their holes until you die of old age, but it also works great for drilling mounting holes just above the brake line that goes to the rear wheel.
SKILL SAW: A portable cutting tool used to make studs too short.
PLIERS: Used to round off bolt heads. Sometimes used in the creation of blood-blisters.
BELT SANDER: An electric sanding tool commonly used to convert minor touch-up jobs into major refinishing jobs.
HACKSAW: One of a family of cutting tools built on the Ouija board principle. It transforms human energy into a crooked, unpredictable motion, and the more you attempt to influence its course, the more dismal your future becomes.
MOLE-GRIPS/ADJUSTABLE WRENCH: Used to round off bolt heads. If nothing else is available, they can also be used to transfer intense welding heat to the palm of your hand.
OXYACETELENE TORCH: Used almost entirely for lighting various flammable objects in your garage on fire. Also handy for igniting the grease inside a brake-drum you're trying to get the bearing race out of.
TABLE SAW: A large stationary power tool commonly used to launch wood projectiles for testing wall integrity.
WHITWORTH SOCKETS: Once used for working on older cars and motorcycles, they are now used mainly for impersonating that 9/16 or 1/2 socket you've been searching for for the last 15 minutes.
DRILL PRESS: A tall upright machine useful for suddenly snatching flat metal bar stock out of your hands so that it smacks you in the chest and flings your beer across the room, splattering it against that freshly painted part you were drying.
WIRE WHEEL: Cleans rust off old bolts and then throws them somewhere under the workbench with the speed of light. Also removes fingerprint whorls and hard-earned guitar callouses in about the time it takes you to say, "F...."
BAND SAW: A large stationary power saw primarily used by most shops to cut good aluminum sheet into smaller pieces that more easily fit into the trash can after you cut on the inside of the line instead of the outside edge.
HYDRAULIC FLOOR JACK: Used for lowering car to the ground after you have installed your new front disk brake setup, trapping the jack handle firmly under the front wing (fender).
EIGHT-FOOT LONG DOUGLAS FIR 2X4: Used for levering a car upward off a hydraulic jack.
TWEEZERS: A tool for removing wood splinters.
PHONE: Tool for calling your neighbour to see if he has another hydraulic floor jack.
SNAP-ON GASKET SCRAPER: Theoretically useful as a sandwich tool for spreading mayonnaise; used mainly for getting dog-doo off your boot.
BOLT AND STUD EXTRACTOR: A tool that snaps off in bolt holes and is ten times harder than any known drill bit.
TIMING LIGHT: A stroboscopic instrument for illuminating grease buildup.
TWO-TON HYDRAULIC ENGINE HOIST: A handy tool for testing the tensile strength of ground straps and brake lines you may have forgotten to disconnect.
CRAFTSMAN 1/2 x 16-INCH SCREWDRIVER: A large motor mount prying tool that inexplicably has an accurately machined screwdriver tip on the end without the handle.
BATTERY ELECTROLYTE TESTER: A handy tool for transferring sulfuric acid from a car battery to the inside of your toolbox after determining that your battery is dead as a doornail, just as you thought.
AVIATION METAL SNIPS: See hacksaw.
INSPECTION LIGHT: The mechanic's own tanning booth. Sometimes called a drop light, it is a good source of vitamin D, "the sunshine vitamin," which is not otherwise found under cars at night. Health benefits aside, its main purpose is to consume 40-watt light bulbs at about the same rate as 105-mm howitzer shells during the Battle of the Bulge. More often dark than light, its name is somewhat misleading.
PHILLIPS SCREWDRIVER: Normally used to stab the vacuum seals under lids or for opening old-style paper-and-tin oil cans and splashing oil on your shirt; but can also be used, as the name implies, to strip out Phillips screw heads.
STRAIGHT SCREWDRIVER: A tool for opening paint cans. Sometimes used to convert common slotted screws into non-removable screws.
AIR COMPRESSOR: A machine that takes energy produced in a fossil-fuel burning power plant 200 miles away and transforms it into compressed air that travels by hose to a pneumatic impact wrench that grips rusty bolts last tightened 30 years ago by someone in Dagenham, and rounds them off.
PRY (CROW) BAR: A tool used to crumple the metal surrounding that clip or bracket you needed to remove in order to replace a 50 cent part.
HOSE CUTTER: A tool used to cut hoses 1/2 inch too short.
DAMMIT TOOL: Any handy tool that you grab and throw across the garage while yelling 'DAMMIT' at the top of your lungs. It is also, most often, the next tool that you will need.
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Re: Time it takes to do a simple job

Brilliant! Best laugh I've had since last year!  Grin Grin Grin
Geoff,
York.
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Re: Time it takes to do a simple job

Not forgetting the Roundtuit - used to delay repairs.
Now Zen, but a +Net residue.
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Re: Time it takes to do a simple job


Grin
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Re: Time it takes to do a simple job

Haynes manuals used to be very good but these days I dont find them much use.
I simply cannot get my head around wiring diagrams that they use these days, perhaps they need to be done that way due to the increasing use of wiring and electronics.
No problem with what coloured wire goes to which component or the number identifying a compotent but as for the rest of it , It might as well be in Greek.
Smiley
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Re: Time it takes to do a simple job

Quote from: gleneagles
No problem with what coloured wire goes to which component or the number identifying a compotent but as for the rest of it , It might as well be in Greek.
Smiley

Just treat it like a road map, find where you want to be and ignore the rest of the roads that you have no need to look at... Smiley
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Re: Time it takes to do a simple job

There isn't a Haynes manual for my car anyway ;-(
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Re: Time it takes to do a simple job

Quote from: Strat
I had a problem with the rear nearside indicator on my Focus.
It stopped working so I changed the bulb which fixed it.
The following day it failed again so I checked the bulb which appeared to be ok, put it back in and it worked.
An hour later it failed again. I checked the contacts in the holder and they looked fine

I've had similar problems with rear indicators on a Maestro and a Clio.
Same thing wrong in both cases, bad earth on the bulb socket board.
Both fixed permanently by simply jamming a piece of copper wire in the right spot between the metal strips.