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Things CSC have to put up with

pierre_pierre
Grafter
Posts: 19,757
Registered: 30-07-2007

Things CSC have to put up with


        Duhh Sum People are Fick...
   


This ought to make you feel better about your computer skills! If you skip any, you have to read the last one! Unbelievable, but supposedly all true!!!!
=================================


Tech support: What kind of computer do you have?
Female customer: A white one...
===============


Customer: Hi, this is Maureen. I can't get my diskette out.
Tech support: Have you tried pushing the Button?
Customer: Yes, sure, it's really stuck.
Tech support: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note.
Customer: No , wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still on my desk... sorry....
===============
Tech support: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen.
Customer: Your left or my left?

===============

Tech support: Good day. How may I help you?
Male customer: Hello... I can't print.
Tech support: Would you click on 'start' for me and...
Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill Gates.

===============

Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print.
Every time I try, it says 'Can't find printer'.
I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it...
===============

Customer: I have problems printing in red..
Tech support: Do you have a colour printer?
Customer: Aaah....................thank you.

===============

Tech support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am?
Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at Woollies.

===============

Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.
Tech support: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.
Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
Customer:! OK
Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer: Yes
Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in.. Is there another keyboard?
Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does work...

===============

Tech support: Your password is the small letter 'a' as in apple, a capital letter V as in Victor, the number 7.
Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters ?

===============

Customer: can't get on the Internet.
Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer: Five stars.
===============

Tech support: What anti-virus program do you use?
Customer: Netscape.
Tech support: That's not an anti-virus program.
Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.

===============

Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.

===============

Tech support: How may I help you?
Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.
Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?
Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the circle around it?

================

A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.
Tech support: Are you running it under windows?
Customer: 'No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is working fine.'

===============

And last but not least...
Tech support: 'Okay Colin, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter 'P' to bring up the Program Manager.'
Customer: I don't have a P.
Tech support: On your keyboard, Colin.
Customer: What do you mean?

Tech support: 'P'.....on your keyboard, Colin.

    Customer: I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!!
5 REPLIES
Community Veteran
Posts: 1,850
Registered: 11-08-2007

Re: Things CSC have to put up with

last: i should think not, indeed.  keyboards don't like fluids. Grin
brad
Grafter
Posts: 151
Registered: 06-04-2007

Re: Things CSC have to put up with

Grin luckily I haven't had any calls like that since I have been here, which goes to show that most of our customers are technical enough to use a computer at least Smiley There is a website which I visit sometimes which groups together thousands of weird and wonderful customer service experience from the service industry's POV (mainly the Americans). It makes me chuckle when I read some of those stories.
http://notalwaysright.com/
alanf
Aspiring Pro
Posts: 1,931
Thanks: 77
Fixes: 1
Registered: 17-10-2007

Re: Things CSC have to put up with

More tales of stupid customers ... and stupid support staff.
http://www.techtales.com/techroom.html
Loombucket
Grafter
Posts: 314
Registered: 09-06-2007

Re: Things CSC have to put up with

My favourite site for harassed tech support staff is here.....
http://www.techcomedy.com/
I frequent the site ..er.. frequently and have posted many stories there, but under a different nick.
...and the answer to your next question is "I'm not telling".  Wink
Community Veteran
Posts: 4,729
Registered: 04-04-2007

Re: Things CSC have to put up with

It's worth looking for CommanderData's posts on www.techcomedy.com
And no that's not Loombuckets nick!