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There is a problem with my broadband connection ......

Community Veteran
Posts: 3,380
Thanks: 2
Registered: 18-01-2013

There is a problem with my broadband connection ......

Just had a phone call from a very pleasant young lady with an Indian accent from the "Broadband Reliability Service"
Apparently I have had recent issues with my broadband which is slowing it down and is caused by problems with my computer and a virus.
After playing along a little, I asked her if she could confirm my IP address ....... click - disconnected  Grin
Just a shame I didn't have a spare XP Virtual machines up and runnning - I might have to quickly set on up for the next call Wink
10 REPLIES
Community Veteran
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Registered: 01-08-2007

Re: There is a problem with my broadband connection ......

Quote from: DomS
Just a shame I didn't have a spare XP Virtual machines up and runnning - I might have to quickly set on up for the next call Wink

Lol you don't need a virtual machine to keep them going.. just pretend to be a bit old and confused like I do! I can easil string them along for 20 mins without them actually achieving anything!
"Yes.... i see the button... do you mean that one or the one next to it?.. oh that one.. ok ... ooops.. i just clicked the wrong one!... oh dear now my computer is restarting...."  Cheesy
You can hear them getting more and more frustrated too the longer it takes yet they keep hanging in their just in case they succeed in the mission (whatever that actually is!)
I need a new signature... i'm bored of the old one!
Community Veteran
Posts: 3,380
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Registered: 18-01-2013

Re: There is a problem with my broadband connection ......

I want to see what they do on a virgin XP install with no access to my network and all patches, antivirus and malware detection up to date.
Not to mention tracing their IP address and having a little fun etc. Wink
Community Veteran
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Re: There is a problem with my broadband connection ......

On these  calls never forget to mention that you are worried the file containing all your back account and password details might become corrupted.
Now Zen, but a +Net residue.
Community Veteran
Posts: 7,923
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Registered: 02-08-2007

Re: There is a problem with my broadband connection ......

Tell them to send someone around as soon as possible to fix it as it has thousands of pounds worth of software on it and you have no intention of using it again until it's fixed.
Go on to explain the cost is no object and you are quite willing to transfer any sum of money from your Nigerian Bank account if they can let you have the name of their bank and account details.
see how long they remain on the phone after that......... Smiley
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Re: There is a problem with my broadband connection ......

Quote from: 7up
just pretend to be a bit old and confused like I do!

Some of us don't need to pretend Sad
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Re: There is a problem with my broadband connection ......

I sit at my mac and play them along for a while trying to find the window key, current record is 20 minutes....
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TimeRider
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Registered: 12-07-2013

Re: There is a problem with my broadband connection ......

Who needs a computer :p
I play em and record em - Later call in my collection is where I allow them to play with my virgin virtual XP install.
In this one, I'm a *very* drunk confused elderly man, comments, criticism - all welcome Smiley
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hRu6KJk13Cg
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Re: There is a problem with my broadband connection ......

I found it boring and too long Sad
Devonian
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Re: There is a problem with my broadband connection ......

I just abuse the thieving gits.  Grin
TimeRider
Grafter
Posts: 84
Registered: 12-07-2013

Re: There is a problem with my broadband connection ......

Quote from: artmo
I found it boring and too long Sad

Oh - sorry dude.. try some of my others if you want shorter entertainment. I like to paint a bit of a story and sometimes my wind up calls are a little too intricate.. I do get your point though about the length, though I find the women tend not to complain.
Shorter one where the guy eventually tells me my computer is 'now going to crash' is also on there, 'tie up your seatbelts' or something I've titled it.