The not so humble shopping trolley.

[#1]

For some time now I have been concerned about the plight of the shopping trolley. Over many years the shopping trolley has evolved to be a complex creature. It's scientific name is Trolleycanthus and it has, due to it's herding instinct, developed plumage to enable it to be identified as to its home. Trolleycanthus Tescosii has its blue plumage, whilst Trollecanthus Sainburyanus is orange.

Most subspecies of Trolleycanthus socialise in a civil manner in the creches provided by the store. Occasionally the creche supervisor will herd the Trollecanthus into formal ranks ready to interact with the shoppers, at the same time rounding up the odd stray that has wandered from the creche.

My main concern locally is with Trolleycanthus Aldii and Trolleycanthus Co-optium both seem to be more unruly sub species having to be tethered to each other within the creche. They also need to be sedated before interacting with the public, this is achieved by inserting a small metal disc into the Trolleycanthus. It returned to the shopper when the Trollecanthus is returned to the creche and successfully tethered. With the announcement this week that the government is introducing a new medication in the form of a new 12 sided metal disc, I wondered what effect will this have on both Aldii and Co-optium subspecies. Will there be any side effects from the new medication? Will we all as casual herders of Trolleycanthus need to be aware of any possible changes in behaviour and will there need to be a period of training to make us able to adapt to any new behavioural traits?.

I think the next few months will give us all cause for concern.

[#2]

Round my way the damn things are seen in the wild on the streets after being nicked from the store and that's if they're not found drowning in the river. 

[#3]

I Think they will adapt well to the change if history is anything to go by.

The earlier trollies often had wheels which turned the opposite way you wanted to go, or failed to turn at all.

Trollies also had a bar across the front wheels which some idiot would push into the back of your heels or you bashed the bar into someones heels because they were too slow in getting out of the way, so they seemed to have coped with this design change and I expect their owners may consider it too expensive to change to the new coin system and let them join their brothers (sisters) whose owners no longer require a coin to free them.

[#4]

Our Sainsburyanus with slot has already developed into Sainsburyacii with cavity ready for bearers of new discus to take them walkies. Cavity comes with pimple so that too thickus is excluded.

[#5]

I just hope they don't start mixing with that other immigrant to these islands, the shopping bag on wheels. No good will come of it you mark my words. Look what happened with brown paper bags, we used to see them in all of our corner shops and what happened? Plastic ones moved in, that's what.

This country has gone to the dogs. 

[#6]

I share your worries @Minivanman. Just look at what has happened in the DIY stores. Trolleycanthus bandqutie horizontalis and bandqutie erectus. Two superstrong subspecies with strict  limitations in their areas of expertise. I have found that Trolleycanthus bandqutie erectus can simply be pushed to where it is needed but the horizontalis subspecies will only work when led carefully.

[#7]

By DIY stores I use the correct terminology.

 DIY means Don't involve yourself.

[#8]

Not 'Damage It Yourself'? 

[#9]

The Trolleycanthus Tescosii that I have had dealings with recently have evolved a kind of holster in which fits an object not dissimilar to a large tooth.

As I walk round the store I can withdraw the 'tooth' and use it to fire a red laser type beam at passing barcodes.

Previous to this I had to pass through one of a bank of airport style exits where the Gestapo would examine all my acquisitions in detail and if I was lucky I would be given a pass to leave the store.

Now with the 'tooth' I can bypass much of this security. 

[#10]

My son says that most of his friends now do on-line shopping, so they are more concerned about the company

Dispenserus Caffeineii.

[#11]

Moderator's note by Mike (Mav)

Duplicate post removed