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T.G.I.F

Steve
Seasoned Pro
Posts: 6,684
Thanks: 248
Registered: 13-07-2009

T.G.I.F

Thank God It's Friday
A business man got on an elevator in a building. When he entered the elevator, there was a blonde already inside and she greeted him by saying, "T-G-I-F" (letters only).
He smiled at her and replied, "S-H-I-T" (letters only)."
She looked at him, puzzled, and said, "T-G-I-F" again.
He acknowledged her remark again by answering, "S-H-I-T."
The blond was trying to be friendly, so she smiled her biggest smile and said as sweetly as possibly "T-G-I-F" another time.
The man smiled back to her and once again replied with a quizzical expression, "S-H-I-T."
The blond finally decided to explain things, and this time she said, "T-G-I-F, Thank Goodness It's Friday, get it?"
The man answered, "Sorry, Honey, It's Thursday."
11 REPLIES
nadger
Rising Star
Posts: 4,498
Thanks: 46
Registered: 13-04-2007

Re: T.G.I.F

Cheesy
Community Veteran
Posts: 2,284
Thanks: 219
Fixes: 1
Registered: 04-08-2009

Re: T.G.I.F

The wife's just had a breast reduction. Now she's only got the two!

Fella walks into a bar, blind drunk, staggers up to the counter and says in a very drunk slur "do you sell shorts in here?"
Barman replies in a very sophisticated accent "but of course we sell shorts sir, this is a bar".
Drunk, quick as a flash replies "well sell us a pair please, I've just messed mine!"
thisoldman
Grafter
Posts: 1,220
Thanks: 2
Registered: 06-04-2009

Re: T.G.I.F

Undecided
Thank God This week in nearly over.  its been, even by my  high standards of total ineptitude,stupidity and     {censored}
There is an old saying...if it aint broke dont meddle with it......................now i remember lol
On Thursday i touched some stupid button on my lg tv and all the programmes disappeared,so i thought  (clever dick) just retune.
Alas the lg has no manual so i played around..........big........stupid.....mistake.
I kid you not........267 times i used autoretune and 267 times it failed to detect itv1 itv 4  e4 more 4.
Then i had a bright idea?)
Plug the damn tv into bedroom tv socket. scanned. all was fine.    Congratulated myself and took tv back to lounge.
Plugged it in and bang.  no channels  no pic.    Lifted it up to take back to bedrrom, tripped over cord........crash bang whallop.
Guess what?   the  tv shattered.     censored censored censored.

Wednesday.   I was out walking the dog and i passed this old lady with her dog. I was so busy chatting her up , i didnt notice her dogs lead had got tangled around my ankle and  suddenly i found myself kissing a huge puddle on the road.
Tuesday, after leaving this forum i opened the kitchen oven, to rescue my well  cooked, some might say burned, sausage roll and the oven door came away in my hand.  Then the oven fell out its compartment.
In a remarkable error of judgement i called the firebrigade.They came but were not amused.

Monday:    Walking down the high street in da village i saw a  ( here we go again)  i do apologise for my language,  a disproportionate sized
woman in her twenties.
She came over to me and screamed  "  what are you staring at, ya wee pevvie. She then proceeded to bash me with her copy of the sun.
My nose bled.   Fortunately Mr Kalibali from the wee indian shop saw it all and came to my rescue.
Today friday: the bill for a new tv plus a new elec oven plus hob came to 987£ so i am you might say in a   censored  bad bad mood.
I think the people i meet in here brings me bad luck.
Im sorry if i have bored you reading this  censored.
nadger
Rising Star
Posts: 4,498
Thanks: 46
Registered: 13-04-2007

Re: T.G.I.F

Oh Dear, It actually works  Cool
thisoldman
Grafter
Posts: 1,220
Thanks: 2
Registered: 06-04-2009

Re: T.G.I.F

Rants Rants Rants Rants

What is da matter with you stupid people today  are you all on da booze or lost your meds
thisoldman
Grafter
Posts: 1,220
Thanks: 2
Registered: 06-04-2009

Re: T.G.I.F

geezus  now im expected to read a stupid 16 page cooker manual to make ma dinner.  ah  stuff all this  im going to the local hotel.
nadger
Rising Star
Posts: 4,498
Thanks: 46
Registered: 13-04-2007

Re: T.G.I.F

Quote from: thisoldman
im going to the local hotel.
Thought you'd been banned for indecent exposure  Undecided
thisoldman
Grafter
Posts: 1,220
Thanks: 2
Registered: 06-04-2009

Re: T.G.I.F

nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
you are in danger of hearing from my expensive lawyer Cheesy
nadger
Rising Star
Posts: 4,498
Thanks: 46
Registered: 13-04-2007

Re: T.G.I.F

Thought he was still inside  Huh
thisoldman
Grafter
Posts: 1,220
Thanks: 2
Registered: 06-04-2009

Re: T.G.I.F

Rants to self

This is all your fault steve.  You  bad bad wee boy Angry
Steve
Seasoned Pro
Posts: 6,684
Thanks: 248
Registered: 13-07-2009

Re: T.G.I.F

Sounds to me like you have had a great week!! I've got a new cooker coming to, Will be looking to you for the answers so no pressure Wink