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Spotted this - made me laugh

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Spotted this - made me laugh

Quote
Governmentium
New element discovered
Research has led to the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element, Governmentium (Gv), has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.
These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert; however, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A minute amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second to take from four days to four years to complete.
Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2- 6 years; It does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganisation will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes. This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass.
When catalysed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium, an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons
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Quote
Governmentium
New element discovered
Research has led to the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element, Governmentium (Gv), has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.
These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert; however, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A minute amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second to take from four days to four years to complete.
Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2- 6 years; It does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganisation will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes. This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass.
When catalysed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium, an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.

7 REPLIES
Community Veteran
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Registered: 31-08-2007

Re: Spotted this - made me laugh

Brilliant
pierre_pierre
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Re: Spotted this - made me laugh


 
 


Four Men and their Cats!
Four men were bragging about how smart their cats were .
The first man was an Engineer, the second man was an Accountant, the third man was a Chemist and the fourth man was a Government Employee.
To show off, the Engineer called his cat,
'T-square, do your stuff.'
T-square pranced over to the desk, took out some paper and pen and promptly drew a circle, a square, and a triangle. Everyone agreed that was pretty smart.
But the Accountant said his cat could do better.
He called his cat and said,
'Spreadsheet, do your stuff.'
Spreadsheet went out to the kitchen and returned with a dozen cookies. He divided them into 4 equal piles of 3 cookies ............Everyone agreed that was good.
But the Chemist said his cat could do better. He called his cat and said 'Measure, do your stuff.'
Measure got up, walked to the fridge, took out a quart of milk, got a 10 ounce glass from the cupboard and poured exactly 8 ounces without spilling a drop into the glass.
Everyone agreed that was pretty good.
Then the three men turned to the Government Employee and said, 'What can your cat do?'
The Government Employee called his cat and said....
'Coffee Break.....do your stuff.'
Coffee Break jumped to his feet...........

ate the cookies...............

drank the milk..............

sh*t on the paper....................

screwed the other three cats.....................

claimed he injured his back while doing so..................

filed a grievance report for unsafe working conditions........

put in for Workers Compensation...............and

went home for the rest of the day on sick leave.............!!!!!!!!!!

 
 

     



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Re: Spotted this - made me laugh

...and therein is set the record for the post occupying the single largest screen area. Grin
Nice one pierre on both counts Smiley
@Oldjim I love it Grin
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jmd
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Re: Spotted this - made me laugh

Grin
I like both of them..........................
though Pierre's was easier to understand as it had pictures! Smiley
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Re: Spotted this - made me laugh

Quote from: Strat
...and therein is set the record for the post occupying the single largest screen area. Grin

WOW!
I have a 22" widescreen monitor and it filled it - I pity anybody trying to view it on a 15" one...
*chortles*
pierre_pierre
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Registered: 30-07-2007

Re: Spotted this - made me laugh

mine only 17 and thats oK, could reduce the font size a bit
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Posts: 25,784
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Re: Spotted this - made me laugh

No...no....leave it as it is  Cheesy
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