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Senior Moments

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Senior Moments

I've had a bit of a giggle this afternoon. My friend was all packed and ready for a little holiday to the Isle of Wight on Monday, 6th April. Her spare bed was made up ready for her friend to stay the night prior to setting out.
She hadn't heard from the pal who was arranging it all so she telephoned just to check details and guess what.......
the holiday doesn't start until Monday the 27th April!  I can tell you she is going to get some ribbing from her family.
Doesn't know where she got the 6th from!
Anyway, don't expect that you gentlemen of a 'certain age' will admit to it but surely it can't be just we ladies who have the 'senior moments'?    Roll eyes
53 REPLIES
Community Veteran
Posts: 38,239
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Registered: 15-06-2007

Re: Senior Moments

I'm saying nowt  Grin
Moderator
Moderator
Posts: 17,245
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Re: Senior Moments

Don't think I qualify as senior... but I certainly have my moments  Grin
Will Moderate For Thanks
pierre_pierre
Grafter
Posts: 19,757
Registered: 30-07-2007

Re: Senior Moments

to walk any distance I use a common wood walking stick, nearly every time I go into our local W H Smiths, because of the shape of the counter and having sorted out my money I walk out of the shop without it, dont get far though before I am back grabbing it
Community Veteran
Posts: 7,149
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Registered: 30-08-2007

Re: Senior Moments

SHMBO uses an electric scooter of the transportable type (that needs to be broken down into 4 main components to be loaded into the back of my car) to get round our local Sainsbury's while I push a trolley around. Twice now having returned to the car and loaded up the shopping onto the back seat, have driven away and left the scooter behind in the car park. On both occasions the scooter has been taken in to the store and kept in the cafe'...although not before the battery mysteriously went flat both times!! The first time the scooter was not missed by us until 3 days later, second time one of the trolley collectors who lives near and knows us by sight called round to ask if I had left it behind again.
Experience; is something you gain, just after you needed it most.

When faced with two choices, simply toss a coin. It works not because it settles the question for you. But because in that brief moment while the coin is in the air. You suddenly know what you are hoping for.
Community Veteran
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Registered: 12-08-2007

Re: Senior Moments

THE SENILITY PRAYER
God . . . grant me the senility to forget the people I've never liked, the good fortune to run into the ones that I do like, and the eyesight to see the difference
 
And, now that I've grown older (but have I grown up?), here's what I've found:
ONE
I started out with nothing.  I still have most of it.
TWO
My wild oats have turned into prunes and All Bran.
THREE
I finally got my head together.  But now my body is falling apart.
FOUR
If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would have put them on my knees.
FIVE
I spend a lot of time now thinking about the hereafter.  I go somewhere to get something and then wonder what I'm there after.
SIX
If all is not lost, where is it?
SEVEN
It was easier to get older than it was to get wiser.
EIGHT
It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.
NINE
When I'm finally holding all the cards, why does everyone decide to play chess?
TEN
Some days you're the dog.  Some days you're the hydrant.
ELEVEN
I don't remember ever being absent minded.
TWELVE
I can’t remember whether or not I’ve already E-mailed this to you.
pierre_pierre
Grafter
Posts: 19,757
Registered: 30-07-2007

Re: Senior Moments

A  mature lady gets pulled over for  speeding...
Older  Woman:  Is there a problem, Officer? 
Traffic Cop:  Yes ma'am, I'm afraid you were speeding.
Older  Woman:  Oh, I see.

Traffic Cop:  Can I see your license please?
Older  Woman:  Well, I would give it to you but I don't have one. 
Traffic Cop:  Don't have one?
Older  Woman:  No. I lost it 4 years ago for drunk driving. 
Traffic Cop:  I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please. 
Older  Woman:  I can't do that.
Traffic Cop:  Why not?
Older  Woman:  I stole this car.
Traffic Cop:  Stole it?
Older  Woman:  Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner. 
Traffic Cop:  You what!?
Older  Woman:  His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see. 
The traffic cop looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car while calling for back up.  Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun. 
Officer  2:  Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle  please!
The  woman steps out of her vehicle. 
Older  woman:  Is there a problem sir?
Officer  2:  My colleague here tells me that you have stolen this car and  murdered the owner.
Older  Woman:  Murdered the owner? Are you serious?!
Officer  2:  Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car,  please.
The  woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty  trunk. 
Officer  2:  Is this your car, ma'am?
Older  Woman:  Yes, here are the registration papers.
The traffic cop is quite  stunned. 
Officer  2:  My colleague claims that you do not have a driving license. 
The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch  purse and hands it to the officer.
The officer examines the  license quizzically. 
Officer  2:  Thank you ma'am, but I am puzzled, as I was told by my officer here that you didn't have a  license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner!
Older  Woman:  Bet the lying git told you I was speeding,  too. 

Don't  Mess With Mature Ladies
Community Veteran
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Re: Senior Moments

There's even a shop for senior moments memorabilia
http://www.menkind.co.uk/Productdetailsgeneral.asp?ProductID=175
community
Grafter
Posts: 666
Registered: 31-07-2007

Re: Senior Moments

Quote from: poppy
I've had a bit of a giggle this afternoon. My friend was ..........etc

OK, so right that you should admit your moment  Wink  (there's no shame in getting old, it's just that the younger ones think they will stay young for ever.......and then, One Day...)
BTW, I just took a look at the profiles of those who have admitted their little gaffs, only one has the courage to record his age!
Community Veteran
Posts: 7,149
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Registered: 30-08-2007

Re: Senior Moments

Quote from: community
BTW, I just took a look at the profiles of those who have admitted their little gaffs, only one has the courage to record his age!

Lips are sealed
Experience; is something you gain, just after you needed it most.

When faced with two choices, simply toss a coin. It works not because it settles the question for you. But because in that brief moment while the coin is in the air. You suddenly know what you are hoping for.
pierre_pierre
Grafter
Posts: 19,757
Registered: 30-07-2007

Re: Senior Moments

well when you get old you cant remember  Grin Grin Grin
Community Veteran
Posts: 7,149
Thanks: 51
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Registered: 30-08-2007

Re: Senior Moments

Not good enough pierre! try another excuse.
Experience; is something you gain, just after you needed it most.

When faced with two choices, simply toss a coin. It works not because it settles the question for you. But because in that brief moment while the coin is in the air. You suddenly know what you are hoping for.
pierre_pierre
Grafter
Posts: 19,757
Registered: 30-07-2007

Re: Senior Moments

the age slot on the profile has your age and not date of birth, so you have to waste time going back and changing it
 
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Re: Senior Moments

I shall confess - more than once have I tried to make a telephone call using the TV remote control! However, my excuse is that they are the same colour.  Sad
pierre_pierre
Grafter
Posts: 19,757
Registered: 30-07-2007

Re: Senior Moments