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Please Need Some Advice on "Dating"!!

zedingrove
Grafter
Posts: 293
Registered: 18-06-2012

Please Need Some Advice on "Dating"!!

Please no stupid or smart remarks or comments as have posted somewhere else and got slammed, so thought you lot being such a nice helpful and friendly bunch...
OK have been out of the dating game for some years (26) and really struggling to find the words....
Have known this girl off and on past 12 years, never really spending much time together, till past couple of weeks, where she has been texting me and spending time round my place, chatting and drinking. What's the problem? I dated her mother for a couple of years and still friends, next problem is that she is 14 years younger than me (mother is 9 years older than me, just in case!) and I employ her Aunt to clean for me, and if Aunt caught wind she might knock me out?Huh
So a bit of a dilemma or is it? 
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Re: Please Need Some Advice on "Dating"!!

Hmm.... slightly tricky one.... first thing that comes to mind.... you can always get another cleaner....... Preferably BEFORE she lumps you one....
secondly, age difference should not really come into it,.... unless of course ,..... either of you are under the legal age of consent....
Thirdly.... Mothers and daughters can be very "close"... so you had better be careful what you say to either one, as they will no doubt "confer" and see whether you are "genuine" or telling slight porkies !...
Fourth.... Dump the cleaner. .. play your cards right and you get the daughter , and get the mother to do your cleaning....  WHoa.... hang on a minute..... think on....... think on ........think on......
zedingrove
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Re: Please Need Some Advice on "Dating"!!

Shutter I like your style
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Re: Please Need Some Advice on "Dating"!!

As shutter says, age shouldn't be an issue bearing in mind the legalities. My wife is 20 years younger and her mother just 3 years older - but I never dated her mother Tongue
One thing is reading the signs right. If you misconceive the daughter's intentions then you could ruin what may have been a good friendship.
Why not do your own cleaning and use the extra money for the dating game?

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Re: Please Need Some Advice on "Dating"!!

Quote from: ZedinGrove
Shutter I like your style

So do I! Oh and ditto. Age shouldn't matter. If two people like each other then as long as its legal..
I need a new signature... i'm bored of the old one!
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Re: Please Need Some Advice on "Dating"!!

Thanks guys.... just wish I was in the position of Zedingrove.... seems there are endless possiblities for an interesting circle of friends........ Just needs some tact and diplomacy to make it work..... Wink
David_W
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Re: Please Need Some Advice on "Dating"!!

I think it's a tread very carefully issue.  If you have previously been close to the mother then getting with the daughter could affect the relationship between mother and daughter.  You also don't mention the age the daughter was at when you were with the mother, if she was pretty young back then it could be she sees you as a father figure rather than anything else so being with her could be very morally wrong.
Personally, I'd avoid it at all costs, the possible minefields that you could walk into could be more trouble than it's worth in the long run.
zedingrove
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Registered: 18-06-2012

Re: Please Need Some Advice on "Dating"!!

Put your minds at ease, I'm 50 she 36 (age of consent N/A).
Mav you have hit the nail on the head, this is what I am afraid of, Cos we we all have a good friendship, but then 200 text messages in 2 weeks?
Shutter, tact and diplomacy....Most of you should of realised that these traits are well down the bottom of my personalities!
From an early age was always being told engage the brain before the mouth or think before you speak.....
Cheers Guys
James
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Re: Please Need Some Advice on "Dating"!!

Quote from: ZedinGrove
So a bit of a dilemma or is it? 

Sounds like more of a trilemma!
Let us know how you get on Smiley
St3
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Re: Please Need Some Advice on "Dating"!!

Get round the town, hit a few nightspots dance like crazy maybe if add a few glow sticks around your arms and tut on a whistle, see someone you like just yell " blow my whistle" then carry on doing fantastic moves somthing like this ...

( not work safe, due one little bit of swearing at start of clip, altho nothing really bad ) Funny vid tho Wink
Im sure you get a few ladies cheering you on Wink its a good start
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Re: Please Need Some Advice on "Dating"!!

Ask her what she thinks her mother would say or how she would respond if the 2 of you ever got serious, this gives you the chance of backing out if she responds in a negative way and it also plants the idea in her mind that it's likely to get serious.
Irrespective of what she says about how her Mother would respond say to the mother, (Name) has been in touch a lot with me and I really like her but don't want to muck up our friendship as it means a lot to me, (looking concerned plus a bit of blarney) and watch how her mother responds......... Do not focus too much on what she says as her looks and body language may tell you more than a verbal answer (unless the verbal answer is just two words with one being off)
It's possible she may already be aware of the situation so your honesty could only improve matters.
NB. No responsibility can be accepted of any of the advice given in this post.
NBB.  Good Luck ! (May the force be with you)  Smiley
zedingrove
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Re: Please Need Some Advice on "Dating"!!

OK guys just a bit of an update.....
My self and "A" are going to Tunisia for a week as she has a friend out there, and got an invite. "J" (mother) thinks it is on A that is going as she had to coax J into looking after the young ones. According to A, if J found out before hand all hell would break out and no one to look after kids, of course will have to tell J when get back....
Will update more as it happens,
Mind bad choice of holiday destination.... Top temp yesterday was 42C  Lips are sealed
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Re: Please Need Some Advice on "Dating"!!

Bit risky going away on holiday together so early on before a relationship had developed.
If things go pear-shaped you will be left alone and A will have her friend for comfort/company. Just my 2p's worth.
Good luck, though.

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zedingrove
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Registered: 18-06-2012

Re: Please Need Some Advice on "Dating"!!

Spent 2 days going over it, and yes my one concern was exactly that.
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Re: Please Need Some Advice on "Dating"!!

Assuming A's friend to be female can you not take a male friend to even things up a bit -  foursomes are much better than threesomes!

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Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear - Mark Twain
He who feared he would not succeed sat still