cancel
Showing results for 
Search instead for 
Did you mean: 

Paraprosdokians

Community Veteran
Posts: 18,545
Thanks: 191
Registered: 12-08-2007

Paraprosdokians

PARAPROSDOKIANS (Winston Churchill loved them) are figures of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected; frequently humorous.


1. Where there's a will, I want to be in it.
2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on my list.  
3. Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
4. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.
5. We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.
6. War does not determine who is right - only who is left..
7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit.  Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
8. They begin the evening news with 'Good Evening,' then proceed to tell you why it isn't.
9. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
10. Buses stop in bus stations. Trains stop in train stations. On my desk is a work station.
11. I thought I wanted a career. Turns out I just wanted paychecks.
12. In filling out an application, where it says, 'In case of emergency, notify:' I put  'DOCTOR.'
13. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
14.Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.  

15. Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.  
16. A clear conscience is the sign of a fuzzy memory.
17. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
18. Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.
19. There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get away.
20. I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure.
21.  To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you  hit the target.  
22. You're never too old to learn something stupid.  
23. Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
24. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
25. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
[Moderator's note by Jim (Oldjim)  all caps in title removed as per Forum Rules - I know i am a picky so and so ]
8 REPLIES
David_W
Rising Star
Posts: 2,293
Thanks: 29
Registered: 19-07-2007

Re: Paraprosdokians

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit.  Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad. <-- love that one!
alanb
Grafter
Posts: 459
Registered: 24-05-2007

Re: Paraprosdokians

I hate everybody, but I like everyone else!
Cheesy
Community Veteran
Posts: 7,149
Thanks: 51
Fixes: 2
Registered: 30-08-2007

Re: Paraprosdokians

I'd like to be apathetic, but I can't be bothered.
Experience; is something you gain, just after you needed it most.

When faced with two choices, simply toss a coin. It works not because it settles the question for you. But because in that brief moment while the coin is in the air. You suddenly know what you are hoping for.
Community Veteran
Posts: 7,149
Thanks: 51
Fixes: 2
Registered: 30-08-2007

Re: Paraprosdokians

Paraprosdokians
There are so many entries it is worth Googling if you like this kind of thing (I do) rather than pick out one or two links.
Experience; is something you gain, just after you needed it most.

When faced with two choices, simply toss a coin. It works not because it settles the question for you. But because in that brief moment while the coin is in the air. You suddenly know what you are hoping for.
Community Veteran
Posts: 5,322
Thanks: 467
Fixes: 1
Registered: 21-03-2011

Re: Paraprosdokians

"He's a minefield of useless information."
Now Zen, but a +Net residue.
Community Veteran
Posts: 38,251
Thanks: 937
Fixes: 56
Registered: 15-06-2007

Re: Paraprosdokians

A question for artmo
Why is the title different from the first line of the originating post - and no I didn't change the spelling
Whose spell checker changed it  Grin Grin
Community Veteran
Posts: 18,545
Thanks: 191
Registered: 12-08-2007

Re: Paraprosdokians

That's strange Jim.  i didn't change it either.  I copied this from an email I received earlier and it's correct there.  I'll correct my original post.
Community Veteran
Posts: 3,826
Thanks: 44
Fixes: 1
Registered: 24-09-2008

Re: Paraprosdokians


Progress may have been all right once, but it went on too long;
from a essay or poem by Ogden Nash that ends with
I think progress began to retrogress when Wilbur and Orville started tinkering around in Dayton and at Kitty Hawk, because I believe that two Wrights made a wrong.