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Oldest joke

randpwar
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Registered: 01-08-2007

Oldest joke

jelv had the idea in another thread to see who can name the oldest joke. Not sure how we'll ever know one joke is older than another but I thought it might be a bit of fun.
I'll start it off with 'My dog's got no nose.........'  Embarrassed    okay, you know the rest. Any more 
18 REPLIES
nadger
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Registered: 13-04-2007

Re: Oldest joke

Mummy, Mummy why do I keep running round in circles?
Shutup or we'll nail your other foot to the ground  Cry
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Re: Oldest joke

Doctor...Doctor I keep thinking I'm a pair of curtains.
Pull yourself together.
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Product of the Tyrell Corporation
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Registered: 10-08-2007

Re: Oldest joke

Little Johnny is in a class where every Friday the teacher asks a question and if you get it right you don't have to go to school on Monday.
The first Friday the question was, "How many gallons of water is there in the whole world."
No one knew so they all had to go to school on Monday.
Next Friday, the question was, "How many grains of sand is there in the whole world."
No one knew so they had to go to school on Monday.
By this time Little Johnny is getting mad because he doesn't want to go to school on Monday.
The next Friday right before the teacher asked the question he rolled the two black squash balls up to her.
She said, "OK, who is the comedian with the black balls?"
Little Johnny said, "Sammy Davis Jnr Miss, see you on Tuesday."
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Registered: 10-04-2007

Re: Oldest joke

Knock knock
Who's there?
Doctor
Doctor Who?
That's right.
jelv (a.k.a Spoon Whittler)
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Re: Oldest joke

Knock knock
Who's there?
Tish
Tish who?
Bless you!
jelv (a.k.a Spoon Whittler)
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deekay
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Registered: 05-08-2007

Re: Oldest joke

"I say, I say, what have you got in that shopping bag?"
"Plums. I'm taking them to Buckingham Palace to give to the King".
"Why are you taking them to Buckingham Palace to give to the King?"
"It tells us to in the National Anthem. Send Him Victorias".
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Re: Oldest joke

There were two eggs boiling in a pan of hot water.
"Wow it's very hot in here" said one egg.
"This is nothing" said the other. "Wait till they take you out,you get your head smashed in with a spoon"
198kHz
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Re: Oldest joke

Penguin walks into a bar - says to the landlord - Have you seen my brother?
Don't know, said the landlord - What does he look like?
Not young enough to know everything
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Re: Oldest joke

Why are girls like pianos?
Because when they're not upright they're grand.
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randpwar
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Re: Oldest joke

My brother used to tell me a silly little joke:
What’s the difference between a duck?.......One of it’s legs are both the same
He still refuses to explain it  Roll eyes
thisoldman
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Re: Oldest joke


Glasgow's  oldest joke  (bit rude warning)

Trashy bird goes up to barman in club and sneers at him saying , im gonna give you something  you have never had before.
Barman replies,  so you have  gonorrohea,  poor wee you.
RobDickson
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Re: Oldest joke

If you want old jokes, just follow Keith Chegwin on Twitter. He comes up with some every day.
I've never understood the duck joke either.
pierre_pierre
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Registered: 30-07-2007

Re: Oldest joke

one fron Abdera in Thrace North Eastern Greece, 6th centry BC
An Abderite meets a eunuch who's chatting with a woman, and asks him if this is his wife.  When he' told that eunuchs cant have wives, the Abderite says, 'My mistake - it must be you daughter.'
idlewis
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Re: Oldest joke

In the Art class What do you colour the sun and the wind?
The sun Rose and the Wind Blue.