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Old Geezers?

Posts: 4,071
Thanks: 2,492
Fixes: 17
Registered: ‎10-04-2007

Old Geezers?

An old geezer became very bored in retirement and decided to open a medical clinic.

He put a sign up outside that said: "Dr. Geezer's clinic. Get your treatment for £500, if not cured, I'll pay you £1,000."

Doctor "Young", who was positive that this old geezer didn't know beans about medicine,  thought this would be a great opportunity to get £1,000.    So he went to Dr. Geezer's clinic.


Dr. Young: "Dr. Geezer, I have lost all taste in my mouth.   Can you help me ??"

Dr. Geezer: "Nurse, please bring medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in Dr. Young's mouth."


Dr. Young: Aaagh !! -- "This is Petrol!"

Dr. Geezer: "Congratulations!

You've got your taste back. That will be £500."

Dr. Young gets annoyed and goes back after a couple of days figuring to recover his money.

Dr. Young: "I have lost my memory, I cannot remember anything."

Dr. Geezer: "Nurse, please bring medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in the patient's mouth."

Dr. Young: "Oh, no you don't, -- that is Petrol!"

Dr. Geezer: "Congratulations!   You've got your memory back.   That will be £500."

Dr. Young (after having lost £1000) leaves angrily and comes back after several more days.


Dr. Young: "My eyesight has become weak --- I can hardly see anything!!!!"
Dr. Geezer: "Well, I don't have any medicine for that so.   Here's your £1000 back." (giving him a £10 note)
Dr. Young: "But this is only £10!"
Dr. Geezer: "Congratulations!   You got your eyesight back!   That will be £500."


Moral of story -- Just because you're "Young" doesn't mean that you can outsmart an "old Geezer"

Remember:   Don't make old people mad.    We don't like being old in the first place, so it doesn't take much to tick us off.


If you think this applies to you - form an orderly queue behind me.

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Community Veteran
Posts: 1,819
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Registered: ‎08-10-2010

Re: Old Geezers?

I'm now officially 'an old geezer' having reached 60 last November ( cue indignant cries from some members..." you're just a child"... Roll_eyes ).  I find that lots of places offer discounts for over 60's but it's just not worth the grief, at least not until I look 70, as I have to produce my driving licence and be 'scrutinised' to confirm that it is indeed me. 

Posts: 20,652
Thanks: 3,902
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Registered: ‎06-04-2007

Re: Old Geezers?

@MauriceC Very funny.


I am lucky as most people think I am early forties even though I am mid-50'sCool_smiley

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Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear - Mark Twain
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Community Veteran
Posts: 7,410
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Registered: ‎30-08-2007

Re: Old Geezers?

I agree with Mav. I am also lucky, I am often taken as being 55 or 56 when I am actually 70 pushing 71 and still working (part-time)

Maybe they're just being polite and don't wish to tell me what they're really thinking.

My Mum (who I am I'm told I most resemble) never looked her age until she was over 80, then she seemed to age suddenly. Although she was very ill by that time.

Experience; is something you gain, just after you needed it most.

When faced with two choices, simply toss a coin. It works not because it settles the question for you. But because in that brief moment while the coin is in the air. You suddenly know what you are hoping for.