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Oh Happy Day.........?

thisoldman
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Registered: 06-04-2009

Oh Happy Day.........?


Last night, inorder to maintain warm cordial relations with a neighbour couple, I agreed, after much persuasion, to join them at their Thursday evening evangelical "get to-gether" evening.
They had described it as the Thursday  happy hour, and the implied, although i coldnt see how, possibility of some liquid refeshment  appealed to me.
The meeting took place in a dilapidated ex  barracks room and at any moment i fully expected dad's army to appear. Fortunately I was wrong, but one look at the people present made me think of  a glastonbury rave for pensioners.  If only i had known then how close to the truth that was, I would have bolted.
The meeting began with a fairly quiet hymn but was then followed by the hymn  "oh happy day.  People began to throw their hands up, dance, clap twirl and hug each other.  A large  nigerian woman almost smothered me during the second verse.
I had the distinct impression that this was some kind of evangelic evening on acid!, the way people were behaving.
Suddenly i felt this blow on my face.
A few moments later, when i awoke, i noticed the silence and the concerned looks of people.
Apparently, some man of considerable weight and proportions  had during his boisterous rendition of happy day,
caught me on the side of my face and knocked me out.    So much for being safe in the hands of the Lord!
Iv heard of happy slapping but never in an evangelical meeting!!
Worse was to follow.....
Towards the end of this evangelical rave for deliquent oaps, the organizer got to his feet to say a few words.
He reminded me of a geriatric version of that pompous  self conceited adrian childes who presents the bbc tv one show.
He began ranting on and on about praise ye the lord.    I suspected his vocabulary consists of 3 words  praise the lord.
Suddenly, as he once agin shouted the magic words, his upper denture flew out of his holy gob and landed on the floor of the aisle beside me.
As i stood up, there was an almighjty crunching sound, and it was with a deep sense of embarrassment that i handed him back, his broken upper denture , which i had tread upon.
The whole evening was a nightmare and I am sure these happy slappers  were simply people  who for too long have been deprived of their daily dose of prozac.
I prefer my own baptist service. It may be dull but at least you dont get slapped or have peoples teeth falling in your lap
6 REPLIES
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Re: Oh Happy Day.........?

Oh, thank you for the account - it did make me laugh.  Grin
Happy clapping is not for me but I really love to see the joi di vivre of these people. It lifts the spirit just to see people together and so happy.
With regards to the Nigerian lady, these days most folk wouldn't touch you with a barge pole so I would imagine that it was something of a shock to be 'smothered'.
I have to say that hugging is not my thing either. I still can't cope with  handshaking in the Holy Communion service!
Never been to a Baptist service so will have to take your word for it that it is somewhat less excitable than this one.
thisoldman
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Re: Oh Happy Day.........?

perhaps i should arrange for  mand  poppy oldjim bob chris  midnight caller petlew and pierre to attend a meeting . Grin
It would be nice to see a happy hugging plusnet gathering  lol lol
pierre_pierre
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Re: Oh Happy Day.........?

I'll be Nearly there on Sunday, last time Poppy, JMDLP and the Dogs, this time the Outlaw, could you arrange a hideaway for me Wink Wink
jmd
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Re: Oh Happy Day.........?

I can assure that I have been to a variety of services in charismatic evangelical churches and they can be funny.  The preachers too can be rather pompous and repeat themselves.But they can be be very good in many instances.
However, the services I am involved in [Methodist]  the congregation never get that carried away!  and I do not repeat myself either but people usually leave refreshed and uplifted in a different kind of way.
I always feel that people want to express their worhsip in different ways and fortunately their are various churches that give folk a choice.
Midnight_Caller
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Re: Oh Happy Day.........?

I love your story of your evening at evangelical service, I was howling with laughter. 
Quote from: thisoldman
perhaps i should arrange for  mand  poppy oldjim bob chris  midnight caller petlew and pierre to attend a meeting . Grin

I am Atheist, so you would not see me in one of them places.
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Registered: 30-08-2007

Re: Oh Happy Day.........?

The last time we attended a happy-clappy service with our daughter, it was with some reluctance (we're both agnostics I suppose) However it was for a special reason, daughter was going to be baptised into this church in spite she had been shortly after she was born. The church in Salisbury has a baptising pool set into the floor where the principles walk into it to a depth of about a metre or so, and are then dunked into the pool by the officiating "priest" fully under water, fully clothed.
The unheated church in early April was absolutely freezing, as was the baptising pool judging by the reactions of our daughter and the five other main participants. The baptising session began, and out of the wood-work suddenly appeared what seemed five-hundred camera bedecked friends, hangers-on and relatives recording the whole hilarious she-bang for posterity.
I suspect that we were the only two left  -somewhat bemused- sitting in the pews. There followed much convivial hugging and air-kissing and congratulating of the newly (soggy and cold) inmates of the church.
Then there was the music and hymns, a five piece guitar band was provided who performed under a giant screen on which modern religious images of the illuminated cross type were displayed together with a Karaoke type song words display...can't think why, since like thisoldman I noticed that there were only three words (praise the lord) arranged is every possible combination. Further I also noticed that after the tenth hymn that they were all played using the same music. It was all conducted by the band with tightly closed eyes and tremendous emotion, the congregation (less two) were in raptures of clapping and smiling broadly at each other.
We were quietly relieved when we could decently escape to sanity.
Experience; is something you gain, just after you needed it most.

When faced with two choices, simply toss a coin. It works not because it settles the question for you. But because in that brief moment while the coin is in the air. You suddenly know what you are hoping for.