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Modern manners

johpal
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Posts: 550
Registered: 20-04-2008

Modern manners

Reading the 'Fast Lane' thread, I detect a sense of irritation about the way some people behave at supermarket check-outs. My 'pet peeve' are the people who place their goods on the conveyor, pack everything, fumble in their purse/wallet to pay, then leave, all whilst continuing a banal conversation on their mobile phone, ignoring completely the person working the check-out. I feel I need to apologise for such people, so appalling do I find this behaviour.
Then there are those who do the same whilst boarding a bus, but there are some who surpass themselves by foregoing the 'prop' of a mobile phone and just fumble for the money after stating their destination.
Of course, it goes without saying, I'm a grumpy old man ...  Crazy
34 REPLIES
198kHz
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Re: Modern manners

It's one of the perks of being old, johpal - we're allowed to be grumpy  Tongue  Cool
Not young enough to know everything
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Registered: 02-10-2008

Re: Modern manners

Quote from: johpal
Then there are those who do the same whilst boarding a bus,

On the other hand - it is noticeable that very many if not most people say thank you to the bus driver on leaving the bus, at least around here wherethe buses only have the one door at the front. And this includes all age groups . And most drivers give a cheery reply, for all passengers - one would think they would get fed with it with hundreds of passengers in a shift, but obviously not.
I can remember the day when we said thank you to the steam train driver too if you passed the engine at the terminus.
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Re: Modern manners

Quote from: mal0z

On the other hand - it is noticeable that very many if not most people say thank you to the bus driver on leaving the bus,

As a coach/bus driver...some do mal0z, some do. I always try and respond with a cheerful "thank you"
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Re: Modern manners

I really don't want to berate the younger generation as I know that there are many good 'uns out there. With regards to manners, however, I do think that they seem to concern older folk more than younger ones.
A while ago I was complaining (on another forum) about people not replying to threads that they had started. I don't mind helping people (it is not often that I can), but after spending time finding the most suitable solution, to have them not reply is a big irksome.
One of the correspondents to this thread thought it a 'bit sad' that I was looking for thanks!  Actually, all I was asking for was a response, and a 'thank you' was never mentioned!
The altercation did get me thinking, however, as I assumed that the writer was of the younger generation (they mostly are at my age).
He obviously doesn't give a hoot for a polite 'thank you' and actually thinks that you shouldn't/have no right to expect one.
Hope that he is not typical of  young people.
pierre_pierre
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Re: Modern manners

trouble is Sandra they can only spell it as - fank U
Moderator
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Re: Modern manners

I blame the parents.. no really I do.
Trying to get the kids to have good manners takes some effort and from what I have seen a lot of parents just give up.
Also I think the attitude of have what you want, when you want it and stuff anybody else doesn't help as people then expect everybody to do everything for them and have no appreciation.
I'm possibly teetering on the edge of Poppy's younger generation  Cheesy
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techguy
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Re: Modern manners

I agree there is a general lack of manners amongst us younger folk, I was however brought up properly and do still say please and thank you (oh and use full words in text messages)
Part of my job is software tech support and probably as is the case with the bus driver that was mentioned, it very nice to get a thank you for fixing a problwm as you feel appreciated and it makes the effort worth it.

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Re: Modern manners

One time I notice good manners is when stopping to allow pedestrians to cross the road at a crossing.  Invariably they acknowledge with a raised hand (not a fist I don't think Wink )
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Re: Modern manners

Quote from: poppy
I really don't want to berate the younger generation as I know that there are many good 'uns out there. With regards to manners, however, I do think that they seem to concern older folk more than younger ones.
A while ago I was complaining (on another forum) about people not replying to threads that they had started. I don't mind helping people (it is not often that I can), but after spending time finding the most suitable solution, to have them not reply is a big irksome.
One of the correspondents to this thread thought it a 'bit sad' that I was looking for thanks!  Actually, all I was asking for was a response, and a 'thank you' was never mentioned!
The altercation did get me thinking, however, as I assumed that the writer was of the younger generation (they mostly are at my age).
He obviously doesn't give a hoot for a polite 'thank you' and actually thinks that you shouldn't/have no right to expect one.
Hope that he is not typical of  young people.


I agree...... it is not so much about  canvassing for a bouquet, or thankyou.... is more about  knowing that what you have done for someone has helped them..... even if they just came back and said.... "Problem solved,    it was  * * * * * * * * * "  If that is what you thought, and that was the advice you sorted from them. you gain "self satisfaction" from the act of helping....  A "thank you" note or message,is just the icing on the cake really.
itsme
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Re: Modern manners

Quote from: techguy
Part of my job is software tech support and probably as is the case with the bus driver that was mentioned, it very nice to get a thank you for fixing a problwm as you feel appreciated and it makes the effort worth it.


It amazes me why you expect to be thanked for doing a job your paid to do. Having said that I probably would do if I'm sitting there waiting for the PC to be fixed. Do you thank the payroll department every month for getting your pay right?
techguy
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Re: Modern manners

I don't expect anything, I just pointed out how (as others have also) how it is nice for someone to show any sort of recognition for what you have done, in the same way if I phone a company myself and the staff member is helpful I thank tham for their help as anyone can read from a screen/script (I'm talking here about the 'computer says no' mentality which people can legitimately adopt as technically they are doing their job) but there are some that go the extra mile when they don't have to, treat others as you would wish to be treated.
Is it better that you have a pleasant exchange with someone that is paid to help you or do you prefer to deal with people that are so miserable that they don't bother to exchange pleasantries with you because all they get all day every day is people screaming at them and this is particularly an issue with tech support roles, no matter what you ask them to do to try to solve the issue/work with them to find a resolution, the response comes back "I'm not doing that, what are you gonna do about it"


Community Veteran
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Re: Modern manners

It's common decency to thank people, if you are speaking to them - even if they are paid to do it.
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Re: Modern manners

Quote from: itsme
Quote from: techguy
Part of my job is software tech support and probably as is the case with the bus driver that was mentioned, it very nice to get a thank you for fixing a problwm as you feel appreciated and it makes the effort worth it.


It amazes me why you expect to be thanked for doing a job your paid to do. Having said that I probably would do if I'm sitting there waiting for the PC to be fixed. Do you thank the payroll department every month for getting your pay right?

@itsme
I cannot see anywhere in that  statement that he "expected" to be thanked for doing his job..... he said   "It is nice when someone does say thankyou.......
As an example..... A few months ago, My wife and I went to a tea room, where two waitresses attended to the order.... both were exceptionally polite, and it made the experience very enjoyable.... I called one of them over, and she approached, I think with a little trepidation, and I asked her "Did you make the tea?"   (as she was the one who brought it out from the kitchen)   to which she responded, "Yes.  was it alright?"  (she being of oriental origin, probably not used to making english tea, as she gave the impression it was her first job, by her mannerisms)... I said"  Yes, It was very good.... in fact, I really enjoyed it, ...........Thank You"              with the emphasis on the "thank you".....
I think this would have boosted her self esteem. and was "not expected" just because she was doing a job she got paid for.
198kHz
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Re: Modern manners

I've always said "Good morning/afternoon" before making a purchase in a shop, filling station etc. Often the assistant looks surprised, then pleased - I get the impression they're just not used to good manners.
Not young enough to know everything