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Letter to Dad

jmd
Grafter
Posts: 2,933
Thanks: 2
Registered: 30-07-2007

Letter to Dad

Letter To Dad
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A father passing by his son's bedroom, was astonished to see that the bed was nicely made, and everything was picked up. Then, he saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow. It was addressed, ' Dad .'
With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter, with trembling hands.

'Dear, Dad
It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing to you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend, because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mum and you.
I've been finding real passion with Stacy, and she is so nice, but I knew you would not approve of her, because of all her piercings, tattoos, her tight Motorcycle clothes, and because she is so much older than I am.
But it's not only the passion, Dad. She's pregnant.
Stacy said that we will be very happy. She owns a caravan in the woods, and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children.
Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone. We'll be growing it for ourselves, and trading it with the other people in the commune, for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want.
In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS, so Stacy can get better. She sure deserves it!
Don't worry Dad , I'm 15, and I know how to take care of myself.
Someday, I'm sure we'll be back to visit, so you can get to know your many grandchildren.

Love,P.S. Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Jason's house.
I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the school report that's on the kitchen table.
Call when it is safe for me to come home
Your son, Joshua.




not only Pierre who can find the jokes!


8 REPLIES
Moderator
Moderator
Posts: 17,254
Thanks: 905
Fixes: 105
Registered: 11-01-2008

Re: Letter to Dad

Fantastic, wish I'd have had a letter like that when I was at school  Cheesy Grin
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pierre_pierre
Grafter
Posts: 19,757
Registered: 30-07-2007

Re: Letter to Dad

Summary of Life


GREAT TRUTHS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED:
1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptise cats.
2) When your Mum is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.
3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person.
4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
5) You can't trust dogs to watch your food.
6) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
7) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.
8] You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
9) Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
10) The best place to be when you're sad is Grandpa's lap.

GREAT TRUTHS THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED:
1) Raising teenagers is like nailing jelly to a tree.
2) Wrinkles don't hurt.
3) Families are like fudge...mostly sweet, with a few nuts.
4) Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.
5) Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside.
6) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fibre, not the toy.


GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD
1) Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
2) Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.
3) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're down there.
4) You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.
5) It's frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.
6) Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.
7) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.

SUCCESS:
At age 4 success is . . . not piddling in your pants.
At age 12 success is . . . having friends.
At age 17 success is . . having a drivers licence.
At age 35 success is . having money.
At age 50 success is . . . having money.
At age 70 success is . .. . having a drivers licence.
At age 75 success is . . . having friends.
At age 80 success is . . . not piddling in your pants.
Pass this on to someone who could use a laugh.
Always remember to forget the troubles that pass your way;
BUT NEVER forget the blessings that come each day.

Have a wonderful day with many *smiles*

Take the time to live!!!
Life is too short. Dance naked



Moderator
Moderator
Posts: 17,254
Thanks: 905
Fixes: 105
Registered: 11-01-2008

Re: Letter to Dad

You can stop showing off now  Wink Cheesy
Will Moderate For Thanks
Community Veteran
Posts: 16,862
Thanks: 1,141
Fixes: 13
Registered: 06-11-2007

Re: Letter to Dad

I have a vision of Pierre in  a room like they use on "numb3rs" or CSI  where it is lit by the light of many computer screens, (no real lighting is used) as he can`t afford the electric bill)  Pierre sits at a half circle console of keyboards, and is constantly feeding in "key words", to the many  keyboards Google/Ask/Yahoo/etc/etc/etc  between gulps of strong tea/coffee, and large slices of black forest gateaux cake,  The screens flash up bright yellow when he gets a response, and then he swings round on his chair to address the keyboard of his laptop, and duly gives the information to all of us here on the forum !
Well done Pierre..... you save us all hours of toil and torment ! Cheesy  Grin  Cheesy
Moderator
Moderator
Posts: 17,254
Thanks: 905
Fixes: 105
Registered: 11-01-2008

Re: Letter to Dad

That is the vision I had too, therefore it must be true  Roll eyes . C'mon Pierre give us snap of your set up  Cheesy
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pierre_pierre
Grafter
Posts: 19,757
Registered: 30-07-2007

Re: Letter to Dad

Blast, didnt know you had a link into my CCTV.
On that front, just been looking at Google Maps of the Braintree Bypass, they have got something on it new to me, Live road speeds!, it must be a link into all those funny little cameras that they have on the roads in Essex.  Not Google Earth, but the Google Search - Maps
pierre_pierre
Grafter
Posts: 19,757
Registered: 30-07-2007

Re: Letter to Dad

SWMBO for her sins also looks at a forum on another laptop, talk about cranky, dont seem to have the same rules and etiquette  as us, lots more jokes and drivel  courtesy of weight watchers  sample forum
Community Veteran
Posts: 16,862
Thanks: 1,141
Fixes: 13
Registered: 06-11-2007

Re: Letter to Dad

Rules & etiquette usually spoil all the fun..... Cheesy  Well, not actually true,    Embarrassed    Rules are for "guidance" to give a "framework" for the way things are/should be done......    Roll eyes  etiquette is really a "posh" word for "good manners"....    Roll eyes  which most of us have on this forum anyway, Smiley  without having to be enforced by rules. Cheesy