Latest Joke & More

[#1]

Hello lads and lasses John Campbell here
alias (The Grinder)    Did you here  the one  about the Teddy Bear that was working on a building site . One day as he returned from his tea break he noticed that his pick had been nicked, so he went to the site forman to report it missing, but the forman said "It,s  ok mate  todays the day that teddy bears have there picks nicked  anyway. Tee Hee.
Right, down to the serious stuff, as it happens I play the game called squash and was wondering if any one out there would be interested in playing on a friendly basis. I live on the Wirral and play at a club called the OC Club  Formely the Octel Club in Bromborough Wirral. At Present I play in the North west counties 4th div. So if you want to become interested in playing on a friendly basis, p.s it dos,nt matter what level you play at or your age or Genere please get in touch my e-mail address is  jcampbell1950@yahoo.co.uk

[#2]

man goe's into a pet shop and asks the assistant " how much are your wasps " the assistant says " we don't sell wasps " and the man says " WELL YOU HAVE ONE IN THE WINDOW "
it's the way i tell em  he he

[#3]

 
Actually made me laugh!

[#4]

That's concerning.

[#5]

Quote from: Chris

Actually made me laugh!

🙂  Me too!!

[#6]

When I worked for the Samaritans I tried to ring in sick one day....but they managed to talk me out of it!

[#7]

Quote from: home99

When I worked for the Samaritans I tried to ring in sick one day....but they managed to talk me out of it!

Well I got sacked from the Samaritans, Four suicides in five calls.  It wouldn't have been so bad but they were all wrong numbers....
Sorry.  I'm just not funny.

[#8]

mum can i lick the bowl, NO said the mother you can PULL THE PLUG LIKE EVERY ONE ELSE

[#9]

up hear we call it the plug, when you write the joke you can call it what ever you want
have a nice day

[#10]

Quote from: scotsgringo

man goe's into a pet shop and asks the assistant " how much are your wasps " the assistant says " we don't sell wasps " and the man says " WELL YOU HAVE ONE IN THE WINDOW " it's the way i tell em  he he

Thats a cracker.
ow about this one.  Two dogs are sittin in the vets and one says to the other one,  wa ar you in for ? the other one say,s "To get put down" So he says wa ar you in for so he say ,s  " The other night i thought I,d go to bed early so i went upstairs to my basket, but I noticed the Lady of the house was learning over the bath washing it ; so me being a dog and all that thought I,d av some fun.            So I,m here to get my nails clipped

[#11]

Quote from: John

Quote from: scotsgringo man goe's into a pet shop and asks the assistant " how much are your wasps " the assistant says " we don't sell wasps " and the man says " WELL YOU HAVE ONE IN THE WINDOW " it's the way i tell em  he he Thats a cracker. ow about this one.   Two dogs are sittin in the vets and one says to the other one,   wa ar you in for ? the other one say,s "To get put down" So he says wa ar you in for so he say ,s  " The other night i thought I,d go to bed early so i went upstairs to my basket, but I noticed the Lady of the house was learning over the bath washing it ; so me being a dog and all that thought I,d av some fun.            So I,m here to get my nails clipped

he he  did that dog come from the same pet shop as my wasps 

[#12]

Did you hear about the constipated mathematician?
He tried to work it out with a pencil .

[#13]

Two cannibals walk into a bar and sit beside this clown.
The first cannibal wacks the clown on the head and they both start eating the clown.
Suddenly the second cannibal looks up and says, ,
"Hey, do you taste something funny?" 
it's the way i tell em

[#14]

A man goes to the doctors cos he's got a steering wheel stuck down the front of his pants.
The doctor says "That looks awful, is it bothering you?" The man replies "It sure is, it's driving me nuts!"
ill get me  coat

[#15]

Have just read today that the parcel delivery firms Fedex and UPS are to merge
the new delivery firm is to be called FedUps

I Thank You