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Keep off the grass

VileReynard
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Keep off the grass

On the way to the shops yesterday, I saw the results of a serious road accident.
The police had closed all 4 lanes of one side of a dual carriageway by blocking it with about 7-8 police cars.
I walked around the all that plastic tape they like to festoon everywhere.
I stopped on the grass verge to observe the results of the accident (all dead/injured had long been carried off).
An especially thick plod told me
Quote
don't walk on the grass!!!

He amplified this remark (he was very stupid) by "walk on the pavement"...
The police wonder why people don't have any respect for them any more.
When I returned 2 hours later, there were only 3 police cars - strangely each had a different style of go-faster stripes on it, although they all said Metropolitan on them.
The road was still closed and they had brought the cones lorry into action - although the road was deserted, without any debris on it.
How do they train plods to be so stupid?

24 REPLIES
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Re: Keep off the grass

I was having my hair cut on Saturday (don't laugh) and one of the girls said she had been booked for using a mobile phone while 'driving'. Apparently her phone rang while driving so she pulled over into a lay-by and answered the call. Plod came over and booked her. When she complained she wasn't driving she was told her keys were in the ignition and the engine was running....offence Crazy
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Re: Keep off the grass

Well I'm saying nothing  Lips are sealed
James
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Re: Keep off the grass

To be fair Strat, you do actually have a fair bit of hair Smiley
Or at least you did when I saw you!
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Re: Keep off the grass

Quote from: Jameseh
To be fair Strat, you do actually have a fair bit of hair Smiley

Don't you mean a bit of fair hair Cry
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James
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Re: Keep off the grass

I thought it was a fair bit of fair hair Smiley
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Re: Keep off the grass

Guess I'll have to have a pony tail for the next Open Day and blend in Wink
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pierre_pierre
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Re: Keep off the grass

thought we were talking about Donkeys  Cheesy Cheesy
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Re: Keep off the grass

No Pierre....asses Sad
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geewizz
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Re: Keep off the grass

I think you have embellished the story. Did he really say "Don't walk on the grass" in red?
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Re: Keep off the grass

Years ago when I lived in Kent I saw a sign in Danson Park that read:
Bexley Council Don't walk on the grass.  How kind of them to let me know their walking habits.

VileReynard
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Re: Keep off the grass

Quote from: geewizz
I think you have embellished the story. Did he really say "Don't walk on the grass" in red?

It was me that saw red - but I quitely muttered "f*****g idiot" and stepped onto the pavement.
Discretion is the better part of valour.
The idiot was wearing a nasty fluorescent jacket on a pavement near a road with no traffic on it.
You know when there has been a murder or something and they place a sleeping policeman outside the house (for the television cameras I suppose). Well, I think this idiot plod went to the same school.
It's possible they borrowed him from the Hendon police academy (only just down the road) - if so I hope he gets despatched to his local job centre ASAP.

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Re: Keep off the grass

Quote from: artmo
Bexley Council Don't walk on the grass.  How kind of them to let me know their walking habits.

More space for the rest of you then Smiley
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Re: Keep off the grass

Yes, they kept us well informed of their actions.  On a wall we were told 'Bexley council Don't sit on this wall'.  Maybe their signmakers had run out of full stops Wink
Moderators note by James_H : Removed full quote of previous post - it is not needed, and is against the link:rules
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Re: Keep off the grass

I bet Bexley Council don't feed ducks in the park either Grin
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