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Humour

Hero
Posts: 3,353
Thanks: 1,288
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Registered: ‎05-09-2016

Re: Humour

No 'college' degree required, at least not in the UK.

Aspiring Champion
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Registered: ‎11-04-2017

Re: Humour

@Jonpe @Minivanman Now on-line e-degrees are the way to go.Thumbs_Up

I get all of mine from UBS, which is the "University of Bums on Seats" (just put that in Google and select your qualification, it takes seconds) and you can get them for anyone.

Shortcut http://cynicalbastards.com/ubs/courses.html

Hero
Posts: 3,353
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Registered: ‎05-09-2016

Re: Humour

@Leapy, yes, but do they give you wings?

Aspiring Champion
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Registered: ‎11-04-2017

Re: Humour

@Jonpe I'm not sure about flying, but I know they do a navel-gazing qualification.😊

This is one of mine, instant-documents-on-demand qualifications from that University (BTW no email requited so there is no link to anyone 😉)

bos.jpg

Hero
Posts: 3,522
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Registered: ‎17-05-2013

Re: Humour


@Jonpe wrote:

@Leapy, yes, but do they give you wings?


@Jonpe 

For that, you need Red Bull ...

All Star
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Registered: ‎27-12-2019

Re: Humour

Ah! One should never make promises you can't keep.

Hero
Posts: 4,929
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Registered: ‎30-07-2008

Re: Humour

Just finished a Red Bull and I could hear Band on the Run quite clearly. 😁

The older I get, the earlier it gets late.

ADSL2+   Billion 8800NL
Aspiring Champion
Posts: 906
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Registered: ‎11-04-2017

Re: Humour

small.jpg

Aspiring Champion
Posts: 906
Thanks: 415
Fixes: 3
Registered: ‎11-04-2017

Re: Humour

36387.jpg

Aspiring Champion
Posts: 906
Thanks: 415
Fixes: 3
Registered: ‎11-04-2017

Re: Humour

Amazon's analytics, frequently purchased together matrix needs looking at.Shocked

amozon bargin.jpeg

Aspiring Champion
Posts: 906
Thanks: 415
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Registered: ‎11-04-2017

Re: Humour

I'm informed that Ikea, are beta testing making kits for bird homes. Roll_eyes

Ikea nest.jpeg

 

Aspiring Champion
Posts: 906
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Registered: ‎11-04-2017

Re: Humour

Some humorous quotes by famous people not being very nice.

 

"He had delusions of adequacy "

-Walter Kerr

 

"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire."

- Winston Churchill

 

"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure."

-Clarence Darrow

 

"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary."

-William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)

 

"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it."

-Moses Hadas

 

"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it."

-Mark Twain

 

"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends."

-Oscar Wilde

 

"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend, if you have one."

-George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill

 

"Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second... if there is one."

-Winston Churchill, in response

 

"I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here."

-Stephen Bishop

 

"He is a self-made man and worships his creator."

-John Bright

 

"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial."

-Irvin S. Cobb

 

"He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others."

-Samuel Johnson

 

"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up."

- Paul Keating

 

"In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily."

-Charles, Count Talleyrand

 

"He loves nature in spite of what it did to him."

-Forrest Tucker

 

"Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?"

-Mark Twain

 

"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork."

-Mae West

 

"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go."

-Oscar Wilde

 

"He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts... for support rather than illumination."

-Andrew Lang (1844-1912)

 

"He has Van Gogh's ear for music." -Billy Wilder

 

"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But I'm afraid this wasn't it."

-Groucho Marx 

Aspiring Legend
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Registered: ‎04-11-2014

Re: Humour

@Leapy 

There are some great one's out there!

I think it might have been Churchill who said "An empty taxi drew up (outside of Number 10) and Clement Attlee got out".


Don't limit the friends you haven't met with arguments you'll never have.
Aspiring Champion
Posts: 906
Thanks: 415
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Registered: ‎11-04-2017

Re: Humour

seagull.jpg

Aspiring Legend
Posts: 12,784
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Registered: ‎04-11-2014

Re: Humour

Even those 24 hours ones! 😂


Don't limit the friends you haven't met with arguments you'll never have.