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Humour

Mook
Aspiring Champion
Posts: 775
Thanks: 543
Fixes: 2
Registered: ‎27-12-2019

Re: Humour

Is it just me, or do you think that the man on the right, Tom Tugendhat

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-56532569https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-56532569

looks a lot like Illya Nickovitch Kuryakin?

Minivanman
Aspiring Legend
Posts: 13,227
Thanks: 4,987
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Registered: ‎04-11-2014

Re: Humour

With somewhere around one and a half billion people in China, why don't we just sanction their entire population.

Game, set and match.

 

 

 


Don't limit the friends you haven't met with arguments you'll never have.
Jonpe
Hero
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Registered: ‎05-09-2016

Re: Humour


@Minivanman wrote:

an exclamation mark and a comma


I don't see a colon, has the sentence had a colonectomy?

Mav
Moderator
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Registered: ‎06-04-2007

Re: Humour

Probably, but don't quote me on that😉

Forum Moderator and Customer
Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear - Mark Twain
He who feared he would not succeed sat still

Minivanman
Aspiring Legend
Posts: 13,227
Thanks: 4,987
Fixes: 1
Registered: ‎04-11-2014

Re: Humour

Great, from tomorrow my car clock will be wrong for the next six months.


Don't limit the friends you haven't met with arguments you'll never have.
RobPN
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Registered: ‎17-05-2013

Re: Humour


@Minivanman wrote:

... tomorrow my car clock will be wrong for the next six months.


Never mind @Minivanman , it'll only be four months because of what you said here.  Cheesy

Perhaps it's replacement will have been adjusted to the correct time when you receive it (or maybe it'll be one of those that does it automatically Wink )!

TeeGee
Seasoned Pro
Posts: 421
Thanks: 230
Registered: ‎24-02-2009

Re: Humour

This image headed a newspaper article about having to have a passport equivalent to go into a pub....

 

Bitter.PNG

Very clever (provided you speak German!) but it makes me worry about our future.  

 

Minivanman
Aspiring Legend
Posts: 13,227
Thanks: 4,987
Fixes: 1
Registered: ‎04-11-2014

Re: Humour

I just hope they leave to the landlord or the pub manager to decide rather than some government diktat.

Not big on pubs these days, but even if I was even half inclined to go in for a pint I'm not so sure I'd want to passports or no.

 


Don't limit the friends you haven't met with arguments you'll never have.
HelloDuck
Pro
Posts: 302
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Registered: ‎21-03-2020

Re: Humour

Another busy night at Stone Henge  as staff work all night to move the stones forward by an hour.

 

HD

Minivanman
Aspiring Legend
Posts: 13,227
Thanks: 4,987
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Registered: ‎04-11-2014

Re: Humour

Tomorrow is April Fools day. Believe nothing, trust nobody.

Just like any other day


Don't limit the friends you haven't met with arguments you'll never have.
198kHz
Seasoned Hero
Posts: 5,010
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Registered: ‎30-07-2008

Re: Humour

An oldie but goldie.

 

A man received a parrot as a gift, but the bird had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary. Every word out of the bird’s mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity.
The man tried to change the bird’s attitude by consistently saying only polite words, playing soft music and anything else he could think of to clean up the bird’s vocabulary. Finally, he was fed up yelled at the parrot. The parrot yelled back.

He shook the parrot and the parrot got angrier and even ruder. So, in desperation, the man threw up his hands, grabbed the bird and put him in the freezer. For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked and screamed.

Then suddenly there was total quiet. Not a peep was heard for over a minute. Fearing that he’d hurt the parrot, the man quickly opened the door to the freezer.

The parrot calmly stepped out onto his outstretched arms and said: “I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions. I’m sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions and I fully intend to do everything I can to correct my rude and unforgivable behaviour.”

Spoiler
The man was stunned at the change in the bird’s attitude and just as he was about to ask the parrot what had made such a dramatic change in his behaviour, the bird continued: “May I ask what the turkey did?”
The older I get, the earlier it gets late.

ADSL2+   Billion 7800N
Minivanman
Aspiring Legend
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Registered: ‎04-11-2014

Re: Humour

Part post lockdown, but the Mrs is still being extra safe as she lends our BBQ to a neighbour. 

Ex-ZLtyWgA0BJ43.jpg


Don't limit the friends you haven't met with arguments you'll never have.
198kHz
Seasoned Hero
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Registered: ‎30-07-2008

Re: Humour

TRUE STORY

Many years ago our then teenaged daughter took up pyrography , the art of burning designs on to wood, and soon became quite proficient.

She started 'testing the market' at fetes, school fairs and the like, and at one particular school event the zodiac pendants were going really well. Each child would select their star sign and have their name pyrographed on to the pendant.

Towards the end of the afternoon sweet little Charlotte appeared, aged about eight or nine, and asked for a pendant. "What's your star sign?" asked my daughter.

Charlotte looked uncertain, then went into deep thought for a while, before eventually saying -

Spoiler
Er, I think I might be a Lesbian.
The older I get, the earlier it gets late.

ADSL2+   Billion 7800N
198kHz
Seasoned Hero
Posts: 5,010
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Registered: ‎30-07-2008

Re: Humour

ExWQo6QXAA0qcOh.jpg

The older I get, the earlier it gets late.

ADSL2+   Billion 7800N
Minivanman
Aspiring Legend
Posts: 13,227
Thanks: 4,987
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Registered: ‎04-11-2014

Re: Humour

@198kHz 

I used to love the Bee Gees. 😊


Don't limit the friends you haven't met with arguments you'll never have.