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Humour

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Hero
Posts: 4,726
Thanks: 1,436
Fixes: 27
Registered: ‎30-07-2008

Re: Humour

I bought a coat from Debenhams in the sales. Pre-sale price was £495 but I got it for just £25.

It's supposed to be slightly imperfect but I've had a good look all over and the only thing I can find is that one of the sleeves is slightly longer than the other two.

Ω is where the is
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Rising Star
Posts: 98
Thanks: 115
Fixes: 5
Registered: ‎02-01-2020

Re: Humour

Bought the missus a hamster skin coat last week...

Took her to the fair last night and it took me 3 hours to get her off the Big wheel....

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Aspiring Legend
Posts: 12,268
Thanks: 4,224
Fixes: 1
Registered: ‎04-11-2014

Re: Humour

‘Don’t snitch on them, dear – have a word with them first.’
 
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Compare yourself to who you were yesterday, not who somebody else is today
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Rising Star
Posts: 98
Thanks: 115
Fixes: 5
Registered: ‎02-01-2020

Re: Humour

The owner of Dulux paints died today, he froze to death on top of a mountain

Police report states he could have done with another coat…

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Hero
Posts: 4,726
Thanks: 1,436
Fixes: 27
Registered: ‎30-07-2008

Re: Humour

They're just glossing over the fact that he should have been better prepared.

Ω is where the is
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Moderator
Moderator
Posts: 29,878
Thanks: 3,136
Fixes: 477
Registered: ‎14-04-2007

Re: Humour

I've just found out I'm suffering from Ergophobia.
But I won't let it get me down.
I'll work through it.

Customer and Forum Moderator. Windows 10 Firefox 82.0 (64-bit)

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Aspiring Legend
Posts: 12,268
Thanks: 4,224
Fixes: 1
Registered: ‎04-11-2014

Re: Humour

Moses down from the mountain...

"I've got some good news...  and I've got some bad news" he says to the crowd below. "Which do you want first?"

"The good news" they reply.

"I've got him down from fifteen commandments down ten!"

"Halleujah!" they cry. "And the bad?"

"Adultery is still in."

 

 


Compare yourself to who you were yesterday, not who somebody else is today
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Hero
Posts: 4,726
Thanks: 1,436
Fixes: 27
Registered: ‎30-07-2008

Re: Humour

I have made with him a covenant

Said Moses, feeling silly

You will be the chosen people

But you’ve got to chop the end off your willy

Ω is where the is
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Aspiring Legend
Posts: 12,268
Thanks: 4,224
Fixes: 1
Registered: ‎04-11-2014

Re: Humour

Went to one of those faith healing sessions last night and what a waste of time that was. Even the guy in the wheelchair got up and walked out.

 


Compare yourself to who you were yesterday, not who somebody else is today
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Aspiring Legend
Posts: 12,268
Thanks: 4,224
Fixes: 1
Registered: ‎04-11-2014

Re: Humour

A golden oldie. 😋

 

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Compare yourself to who you were yesterday, not who somebody else is today
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Champion
Posts: 951
Thanks: 612
Fixes: 1
Registered: ‎26-01-2019

Re: Humour

I used to get my clothes off the peg..but the neighbours take their washing in at night now!Sad

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Moderator
Moderator
Posts: 29,878
Thanks: 3,136
Fixes: 477
Registered: ‎14-04-2007

Re: Humour

It's no joke but I've been laughing at this all morning.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-54338785

Customer and Forum Moderator. Windows 10 Firefox 82.0 (64-bit)

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Aspiring Legend
Posts: 12,268
Thanks: 4,224
Fixes: 1
Registered: ‎04-11-2014

Re: Humour

Democracy in action, and in Russia of all places. 😄

Hope for the world yet.


Compare yourself to who you were yesterday, not who somebody else is today
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Community Veteran
Posts: 7,007
Thanks: 1,585
Fixes: 2
Registered: ‎23-09-2010

Re: Humour

Maybe she can pass the mop to her ex boss.

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Aspiring Legend
Posts: 12,268
Thanks: 4,224
Fixes: 1
Registered: ‎04-11-2014

Re: Humour

@TTman 

"I used to get my clothes off the peg.. "

Taking online shopping to a whole new level. 😉


Compare yourself to who you were yesterday, not who somebody else is today