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How to avoid being prosecuted..

Community Veteran
Posts: 15,320
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Registered: ‎01-08-2007

How to avoid being prosecuted..

Pay a whopping great fine like Tesco or Bernie Eccleston.

Now someone tell me.. how is that NOT corruption in the form of bribery?

I need a new signature... i'm bored of the old one!
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Community Veteran
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Re: How to avoid being prosecuted..

Interestingly.... tesco paid that fine to the Serious Fraud Office......

 

Hmm... now what will they do with that money ?

Seasoned Pro
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Re: How to avoid being prosecuted..

The fine will go to the Treasury. They have had a really good week, £880k from Plusnet, £42 million from BT and now the Tesco fine.

Add to all that the millions that the government will raise by withdrawing some prescription items and there is the Brexit bill all settled.

Community Veteran
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Re: How to avoid being prosecuted..

I bet there are some well paid jobs at the treasury.

Along with some good bonuses being paid for reaching this years target and we are still in March !

Aspiring Legend
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Re: How to avoid being prosecuted..

Or, you could always "[-Censored-] a deaf 'un" * like that great tax avoider Lester Piggott was said to have done when asked to pay some money. Hard of hearing, he was asked for a fiver he owed, "can't hear you in that ear" he said, "try the other one" - so he was asked again but this time for a tenner. "Nope, still can't hear you, try the other ear again. Ah yes, that's better!"

* Oh dear, auto mod strikes again, For 'censored' read male chicken. Wink

 


Don't limit the friends you haven't met with arguments you'll never have.
Community Veteran
Posts: 15,320
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Registered: ‎01-08-2007

Re: How to avoid being prosecuted..


@agedgopher wrote:

The fine will go to the Treasury. They have had a really good week, £880k from Plusnet, £42 million from BT and now the Tesco fine.

Add to all that the millions that the government will raise by withdrawing some prescription items and there is the Brexit bill all settled.


It certainly seems like Theresa Maybe has got the gravy train quangos into order doesn't it. Once upon a time the SFO only seemed to prosecute, soon we'll be able to do our tax affairs through them to give HMRC competition!

No seriously it's weird how suddenly the government are filling the coffers with all these fines all of a sudden. It wouldn't have happened under soft touch pro business Camoron.

I need a new signature... i'm bored of the old one!
Aspiring Legend
Posts: 12,784
Thanks: 4,643
Fixes: 1
Registered: ‎04-11-2014

Re: How to avoid being prosecuted..

Or, you could always "[-Censored-] a deaf 'un" like Lester Piggott was said to have done when asked to pay some money. Hard of hearing he was asked for a five he owed, can't hear you in that ear he said, try the other one - so he was asked again but this time for a tenner. Nope, still can't hear you, try the other ear again. Ah yes, that's better!" 


Don't limit the friends you haven't met with arguments you'll never have.
Community Veteran
Posts: 10,572
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Registered: ‎02-08-2007

Re: How to avoid being prosecuted..

Or do a Ken Dodd, get paid in cash every time and if the tax man takes you to court get the jury laughing at a few jokes, it was reported that even the Judge laughed.

They have never come after him again and even provided a subject he could make jokes about.

 

Cheesy