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House rules [for dogs]

jmd
Grafter
Posts: 2,933
Thanks: 2
Registered: 30-07-2007

House rules [for dogs]

Basic House Rules for Dogs
1/ If you have to throw up, get into a chair, QUICKLY! If you can't manage that in time, get to an Oriental rug. If no Oriental rug is available, any good rug will do.
2/ ALWAYS accompany guests to the bathroom. It's not necessary to do anything; just sit and stare.
3/ Do not allow closed doors in ANY room. To get a door opened, stand on your hind legs and hammer with your forepaws.
4/ When supervising cooking, sit just behind the left heel of the cook. You cannot be seen and thereby stand a better chance of being stepped on, picked up and consoled with food.
5/ Once a door is opened, it's not necessary to use it. After you've ordered an outside door opened, stand halfway in and halfway out and think about several things. It's particularly important during very cold weather, rain, snow, and mosquito season.
6/ And most importantly, Begin people training early. You'll then have a smooth-running household. Humans need to know the basic rules. They can be taught if you start early and are consistent.
6 REPLIES
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Re: House rules [for dogs]

I think similar rules apply to cats too. Shocked
Community Veteran
Posts: 7,149
Thanks: 51
Fixes: 2
Registered: 30-08-2007

Re: House rules [for dogs]

Josie, can we assume that Holly is coming out of her shell a bit now?
And @ James G, you can try to apply rules to cats, but they'll only take any notice if it suits them, which mostly they don't.
Experience; is something you gain, just after you needed it most.

When faced with two choices, simply toss a coin. It works not because it settles the question for you. But because in that brief moment while the coin is in the air. You suddenly know what you are hoping for.
pierre_pierre
Grafter
Posts: 19,757
Registered: 30-07-2007

Re: House rules [for dogs]

you talking about me 

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Re: House rules [for dogs]

Our online dog-loving forum friend (no prizes for guessing who but she has a gorgeous little Cairn called Holly) sent me this and I wanted to share it because I love doggies too and it's lovely:
A Dog's Purpose
(from a 6-year old)
A veterinarian was called to examine a ten-year-old Irish Wolf hound named Belker. The dog's owners, Ron, his wife Lisa, and their little boy, Shane, were all very attached to Belker, and they were hoping for a miracle.
The Vet examined Belker and found he was dying of cancer. She told the family she couldn't do anything for Belker, and offered to perform the euthanasia procedure for the old dog in their home.
As they made arrangements, Ron and Lisa told her they thought it would be good for six-year-old Shane to observe the procedure. They felt as though Shane might learn something from the experience.
The next day, she felt the familiar catch in her throat as Belker's family surrounded him. Shane seemed so calm, petting the old dog for the last time, that she wondered if he understood what was going on. Within a few minutes, Belker slipped peacefully away.
The little boy seemed to accept Belker's transition without any difficulty or confusion. They sat together for a while after Belker's Death, wondering aloud about the sad fact that animal lives are shorter than human lives. Shane, who had been listening quietly, piped up, 'I know why.'
Startled, everyone turned to him. What came out of his mouth next stunned them all. they had never heard a more comforting explanation.
He said, 'People are born so that they can learn how to live a good life --- like loving everybody all the time and being nice, right?' The six-year-old continued, 'Well, dogs already know how to do that, so they don't have to stay as long.'
Live simply.
Love generously.
Care deeply.
Speak kindly.
And yes, Petlew, Holly is definitely out of her shell now and has her owner wrapped around her paw!
OldMik
Newbie
Posts: 2
Registered: 26-09-2008

Re: House rules [for dogs]

Rules on 'Walkies':
1.  After a busy day open one eye, sigh and turn over.Go back to sleep
2.  Change mind when the Master ( Grin) has settled down to watch his favourite program.
3.  Always walk right around posts of all types. Try to leave at a dead run
4. If wanting to go walkies and its raining at the back door  - try the fron door.
5. If finally persuaded to go out in the rain make four quick right turns, moving as quickly as possible.
6 Finally, if youve found a long dead duck or similar to roll in, find a nice big car and try to beat the passengers into it.  Shocked
Community Veteran
Posts: 1,571
Thanks: 3
Registered: 13-04-2007

Re: House rules [for dogs]

Make your dog get a trade so he can find a job. Its very simple mine learnt a trade in no time he is a Blacksmith I simple stuck a hot poker on him and he made a bolt for the door.
The other dog is a lawyer he went out and caught a large bird and now knows everything about illegal ( for those that cant think as they have just come back from the pub if you spell it ill eagle it makes sense)