Herd Southern commuters travelled like cattle

[#1]

and wanted to try it for themselved

[#2]

Think they've crossed a line there and would be better off using some udder form of transport

[#3]

I know the unions are a bit loopy over the train services, but that's just milking it...

[#4]

Services cancelled due to passenger on the line.

[#5]

Those who only heard about it will think is false news..... a load of bullocks. 

Hever station is to br renamed Heifer  station.

How did they get through the barrier: have those tags in the ears got unknown special properties?

[#6]

The wrong kind of milk on the track, the driver prefers skimmed.

[#7]

Obviously there will be some delays as nothing will be mooving for a while

[#8]

Guess what?! The next station down the line is COWDEN!

I used to travel that line thirty or more years ago. Then it was a Cinderella line and most folk, where I lived,  chose the electrified line at 7 miles distant through Tunbridge Wells. You had to find parking, drive through peak traffic, fight for a seat. The alternative through Hever was more leisurely, and actually you could leave and return home in much the same time.

Sometimes speed is illusory: we humans are mesmerised by it.