Have you heard the one about …
- Subscribe to RSS Feed
- Mark Topic as New
- Mark Topic as Read
- Float this Topic for Current User
- Bookmark
- Subscribe
- Printer Friendly Page
- Plusnet Community
- :
- Forum
- :
- Other forums
- :
- General Chat
- :
- Have you heard the one about …

Re: Have you heard the one about …
28-07-2019 3:03 PM
- Mark as New
- Bookmark
- Subscribe
- Subscribe to RSS Feed
- Highlight
- Report to Moderator
Well the irony there is that it's gone way over my head. I just can't see it.
Re: Have you heard the one about …
28-07-2019 3:35 PM
- Mark as New
- Bookmark
- Subscribe
- Subscribe to RSS Feed
- Highlight
- Report to Moderator
On the heels of @Minivanman and elephant mouse theme:
Mouse to elephant: I've been told you say, I get up your nose quite often. I feel awful, and I don't want us to fall out.
Elephant to Mouse: Don't worry. We're pals, but Ithink a cold's coming on. My trunk's been quite stuffed up of late.
Re: Have you heard the one about …
28-07-2019 3:49 PM
- Mark as New
- Bookmark
- Subscribe
- Subscribe to RSS Feed
- Highlight
- Report to Moderator
Why do elephants have flat feet
To stamp out forest fires!!
How do elephants get flat feet
From jumping out of trees to stamp out forest fires!
How do you tell if an elephant has been in your fridge
By the footmarks in the butter!
Ill leave it there I dont think youll stand anymore YET!!!!!
Re: Have you heard the one about …
28-07-2019 4:00 PM
- Mark as New
- Bookmark
- Subscribe
- Subscribe to RSS Feed
- Highlight
- Report to Moderator
Room for more surely?
How do you get four elephants in a mini.
Two in the front, two in the back!
Don't limit the friends you haven't met with arguments you'll never have.
Re: Have you heard the one about …
28-07-2019 4:08 PM
- Mark as New
- Bookmark
- Subscribe
- Subscribe to RSS Feed
- Highlight
- Report to Moderator
I'm resisting temptation to follow on from that one ...
Re: Have you heard the one about …
28-07-2019 4:09 PM
- Mark as New
- Bookmark
- Subscribe
- Subscribe to RSS Feed
- Highlight
- Report to Moderator
Crime in multi-storey car parks. That is wrong on so many different levels.
=====
I was thinking of running a marathon, but I think it might be too difficult getting all the roads closed and providing enough water for everyone.
=====
How many ears does Spock have?
Three. The left ear, the right ear, and the final front-ear!
Re: Have you heard the one about …
28-07-2019 4:11 PM
- Mark as New
- Bookmark
- Subscribe
- Subscribe to RSS Feed
- Highlight
- Report to Moderator
I just hate it when people complain over the internet.
Don't limit the friends you haven't met with arguments you'll never have.
Re: Have you heard the one about …
28-07-2019 4:44 PM - edited 28-07-2019 4:45 PM
- Mark as New
- Bookmark
- Subscribe
- Subscribe to RSS Feed
- Highlight
- Report to Moderator
@Minivanman AW I saving that one for later!!!!
How many rhinos can you get in the mini
NONE is full of elephants!!!
Re: Have you heard the one about …
28-07-2019 5:57 PM
- Mark as New
- Bookmark
- Subscribe
- Subscribe to RSS Feed
- Highlight
- Report to Moderator
Velcro? Now there's a rip-off!
++++++++++
The other day someone left a piece of plasticine in my dressing room. I didn't know what to make of it.
++++++++++
I went to buy a watch, and the man in the shop said "Analogue." I said "No, just a watch."
++++++++++
++++++++++
Forum Moderator and Customer
Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear - Mark Twain
He who feared he would not succeed sat still

Re: Have you heard the one about …
28-07-2019 6:01 PM
- Mark as New
- Bookmark
- Subscribe
- Subscribe to RSS Feed
- Highlight
- Report to Moderator
I went in to the local Boots Chemist and asked the Swedish lady behind the counter for a deodorant.
Ball or Arsol she asked.
Neither I said it’s for my arm pits!
Re: Have you heard the one about …
29-07-2019 3:49 PM
- Mark as New
- Bookmark
- Subscribe
- Subscribe to RSS Feed
- Highlight
- Report to Moderator
Teacher : What is 10 minus one.
Pupil: That will benign sir.
The Lord said to John, "Go fourth and I will give you eternal life"
John came fifth and won a tv.
Re: Have you heard the one about …
29-07-2019 4:22 PM
- Mark as New
- Bookmark
- Subscribe
- Subscribe to RSS Feed
- Highlight
- Report to Moderator
"Are you a tassel?"
"No, I'm afraid not!"
Re: Have you heard the one about …
29-07-2019 4:39 PM
- Mark as New
- Bookmark
- Subscribe
- Subscribe to RSS Feed
- Highlight
- Report to Moderator
Cartoon by Giles, of a couple getting divorced.
Picture of a Cow.....
The husband is pulling on the cow's horns.....
The Wife is pulling on the. Cow's tail.
In the middle of the Cow is a solicitor..,.milking it.
This one might be pushing it a bit but here goes.....
What do you call a man with a small (censored)
Answer: Justin.
Re: Have you heard the one about …
29-07-2019 6:34 PM
- Mark as New
- Bookmark
- Subscribe
- Subscribe to RSS Feed
- Highlight
- Report to Moderator
What do you call a man with a shovel in his head?
Doug
What do you call a girl who sets light to her bills?
Bernadette
What do you call a man with a seagull on his head?
Cliff
What do you call a man with a plank on his head ?
Edward
What do you call a man with 3 planks on his head ?
Edward Woodward
What do you call a man with 4 planks on his head ?
I don't know but Edward Woodward would
What do you call a man with a car on his head ?
Jack
Forum Moderator and Customer
Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear - Mark Twain
He who feared he would not succeed sat still
Re: Have you heard the one about …
29-07-2019 6:54 PM
- Mark as New
- Bookmark
- Subscribe
- Subscribe to RSS Feed
- Highlight
- Report to Moderator
Spot from Giles... almost, as from experience it's two solicitors milking the same cow.
Don't limit the friends you haven't met with arguments you'll never have.
- Subscribe to RSS Feed
- Mark Topic as New
- Mark Topic as Read
- Float this Topic for Current User
- Bookmark
- Subscribe
- Printer Friendly Page