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Have you heard the one about …

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Aspiring Champion
Posts: 1,373
Thanks: 406
Fixes: 5
Registered: ‎25-07-2007

Re: Have you heard the one about …

Single Man with Toilet Rolls
Would like to meet Single Female with Hand Sanitizer
For Good Clean Fun .

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Champion
Posts: 859
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Registered: ‎26-01-2019

Re: Have you heard the one about …

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Hero
Posts: 4,474
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Registered: ‎30-07-2008

Re: Have you heard the one about …

@TTman Open it? Don't even touch it!!

Behind every successful man is a surprised woman
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Hero
Posts: 4,474
Thanks: 1,174
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Registered: ‎30-07-2008

Re: Have you heard the one about …

Just back from Tesco. I saw a guy buying 4 crates of San Miguel, 5 paellas and 3 sombreros. I thought to myself......Hispanic buying.

Behind every successful man is a surprised woman
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Champion
Posts: 859
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Registered: ‎26-01-2019

Re: Have you heard the one about …

God was seen walking around Yorkshire yesterday. When asked what he was doing he replied working from home

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Champion
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Registered: ‎26-01-2019

Re: Have you heard the one about …

Meanwhile villagers in the Punjab are still wondering who the hell is Soshal Distan Singh!

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Champion
Posts: 859
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Registered: ‎26-01-2019

Re: Have you heard the one about …

The World Health Organization has announced that dogs cannot contract Covid-19. Dogs previously held in quarantine can now be released. To be clear, WHO let the dogs out.

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Hero
Posts: 4,474
Thanks: 1,174
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Registered: ‎30-07-2008

Re: Have you heard the one about …

I thought a bit of exercise wouldn't go amiss, so went for a cycle around the area yesterday.

Passing the off licence, a bottle of whiskey seemed like a good idea to lift the spirits, so I bought one and strapped it to the luggage rack.

It then occurred to me that if I happened to fall off the bike, then the bottle would be smashed. Better safe than sorry I thought, so I consumed the contents of the bottle.

Turned out to be a very wise decision, as I fell off seven times on the way home.

Behind every successful man is a surprised woman
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Champion
Posts: 859
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Registered: ‎26-01-2019

Re: Have you heard the one about …

posted by error

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Community Veteran
Posts: 3,293
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Registered: ‎04-08-2009

Re: Have you heard the one about …

@TTman 

So was this, and this, and this! 😀

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Community Veteran
Posts: 3,293
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Registered: ‎04-08-2009

Re: Have you heard the one about …

21.png

 

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Community Veteran
Posts: 3,293
Thanks: 728
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Registered: ‎04-08-2009

Re: Have you heard the one about …

 

 

Not posted in error. Probably.

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Pro
Posts: 572
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Registered: ‎08-06-2011

Re: Have you heard the one about …

During lockdown, starting to annoy each other: 

"Would you like some dinner, dear?"

"That would be nice, what are the options?"

"Bloody yes or bloody no!"

 

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Champion
Posts: 859
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Registered: ‎26-01-2019

Re: Have you heard the one about …

@nozzer the post i was doing started 'Maybe a stupid question' So maybe tells you everything!!! I blame the lockdown.CrazyThumbs_Up

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Rising Star
Posts: 80
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Registered: ‎02-01-2020

Re: Have you heard the one about …

I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law. My neighbour said 'Are you going to help?' I said 'No, six should be enough.'

 

I shouldn't have driven home from the bar last night...especially since I walked there!