Have you heard the one about …

[#1]

@Anonymous @Minivanman Its ok....so amI

[#2]

Paddy is delighted to have fooled the ferry company,  he's bought a return ticket... and he's not coming back!

[#3]

At last, I’ve found a job - helping a one armed typist print capital letters.

It’s shift work.

[#4]

I saw an elephant on the TV the other day. Then I saw the mouse. I learned a lot about compression.

My irascible friend wanted to own something exotic, so he bought a crocodile.

Last I heard of him; he was in a pet.

[#5]

@Luzern 

That's very cerebral. 

[#6]

@Minivanman In other words, you don't understand the humour. Be honest now!

[#7]

Honestly? I'm not sure. 

[#8]

I’ve got a lot of photos of egg whites. I keep them in a photo albumen

[#9]

Boris in now the Prime Minister! 

[#10]

A friend has forwarded this post from his local community messaging app:

Hi, Has anyone got a lightweight wheelchair which will fold easily into boot of car please for an elderly person they want to sell?

[#11]

Some of those community sites can be hilarious, and with so many posts seemingly from young Mums for some reason I do wonder about their past educashun.

[#12]

@Minivanman   Indeed so.

As a photographer, the local rag's classified ad I'll always remember was one which had obviously been transcribed over the phone - which began:

For sale: Esselar camera  

[#13]

In this hot weather I keep ice cream and fruit in the car, but then I am a sundae driver

[#14]

I went to the best ever burger van today. It was so good, it had 4 Michelin tyres.

[#15]

As a schoolboy I remember Exchange & Mart ran an advert  :

“Wanted new or good condition second hand coffin.”