cancel
Showing results for 
Search instead for 
Did you mean: 

Have you heard the one about …

Seasoned Champion
Posts: 1,020
Thanks: 682
Fixes: 1
Registered: ‎26-01-2019

Re: Have you heard the one about …

@Anonymous @Minivanman Its ok....so amIFunny

Aspiring Legend
Posts: 12,725
Thanks: 4,597
Fixes: 1
Registered: ‎04-11-2014

Re: Have you heard the one about …

Paddy is delighted to have fooled the ferry company,  he's bought a return ticket... and he's not coming back!


Compare yourself to who you were yesterday, not who somebody else is today
Hero
Posts: 4,916
Thanks: 1,675
Fixes: 30
Registered: ‎30-07-2008

Re: Have you heard the one about …

At last, I’ve found a job - helping a one armed typist print capital letters.

 

It’s shift work. Cheesy

The older I get, the earlier it gets late.

ADSL2+   Billion 8800NL
Hero
Posts: 4,745
Thanks: 900
Fixes: 9
Registered: ‎31-07-2007

Re: Have you heard the one about …

I saw an elephant on the TV the other day. Then I saw the mouse. I learned a lot about compression.

My irascible friend wanted to own something exotic, so he bought a crocodile.

Last I heard of him; he was in a pet.

No one has to agree with my opinion, but in the time I have left a miracle would be nice.
Aspiring Legend
Posts: 12,725
Thanks: 4,597
Fixes: 1
Registered: ‎04-11-2014

Re: Have you heard the one about …

@Luzern 

That's very cerebral. Tongue


Compare yourself to who you were yesterday, not who somebody else is today
Hero
Posts: 4,745
Thanks: 900
Fixes: 9
Registered: ‎31-07-2007

Re: Have you heard the one about …

@Minivanman In other words, you don't understand the humour. Be honest now!Cheesy

No one has to agree with my opinion, but in the time I have left a miracle would be nice.
Aspiring Legend
Posts: 12,725
Thanks: 4,597
Fixes: 1
Registered: ‎04-11-2014

Re: Have you heard the one about …

Honestly? I'm not sure. Smiley


Compare yourself to who you were yesterday, not who somebody else is today
Seasoned Champion
Posts: 1,020
Thanks: 682
Fixes: 1
Registered: ‎26-01-2019

Re: Have you heard the one about …

I’ve got a lot of photos of egg whites. I keep them in a photo albumen

Aspiring Legend
Posts: 12,725
Thanks: 4,597
Fixes: 1
Registered: ‎04-11-2014

Re: Have you heard the one about …

Boris in now the Prime Minister! Funny


Compare yourself to who you were yesterday, not who somebody else is today
Hero
Posts: 4,916
Thanks: 1,675
Fixes: 30
Registered: ‎30-07-2008

Re: Have you heard the one about …

A friend has forwarded this post from his local community messaging app:

Hi, Has anyone got a lightweight wheelchair which will fold easily into boot of car please for an elderly person they want to sell?

The older I get, the earlier it gets late.

ADSL2+   Billion 8800NL
Aspiring Legend
Posts: 12,725
Thanks: 4,597
Fixes: 1
Registered: ‎04-11-2014

Re: Have you heard the one about …

Some of those community sites can be hilarious, and with so many posts seemingly from young Mums for some reason I do wonder about their past educashun.


Compare yourself to who you were yesterday, not who somebody else is today
Hero
Posts: 4,916
Thanks: 1,675
Fixes: 30
Registered: ‎30-07-2008

Re: Have you heard the one about …

@Minivanman   Indeed so.

 

As a photographer, the local rag's classified ad I'll always remember was one which had obviously been transcribed over the phone - which began:

 

For sale: Esselar camera   Lips_are_sealed

The older I get, the earlier it gets late.

ADSL2+   Billion 8800NL
Seasoned Champion
Posts: 1,020
Thanks: 682
Fixes: 1
Registered: ‎26-01-2019

Re: Have you heard the one about …

In this hot weather I keep ice cream and fruit in the car, but then I am a sundae driver

Plusnet Help Team
Plusnet Help Team
Posts: 8,112
Thanks: 981
Fixes: 398
Registered: ‎01-01-2012

Re: Have you heard the one about …

I went to the best ever burger van today. It was so good, it had 4 Michelin tyres.

If this post resolved your issue please click the 'This fixed my problem' button
 Matthew Wheeler
 Plusnet Help Team
Aspiring Champion
Posts: 1,545
Thanks: 483
Fixes: 5
Registered: ‎25-07-2007

Re: Have you heard the one about …

As a schoolboy I remember Exchange & Mart ran an advert  :

“Wanted new or good condition second hand coffin.”