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Great put down’s

randpwar
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Great put down’s

Just read in the Grauniad that Otto Preminger said to Kim Cattrall ‘You remind me of Marilyn Monroe – not in looks of course, but in lack of talent’. Not terribly nice of course and naturally I would never condone sarcastic put down’s, but I did think it was funny.
Anyone know any better ones? 
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Re: Great put down’s

Oh yes! (although I think I've posted this before) Conductor Sir Adrian Boult (a great wit as well as a musician) brought the rehearsing orchestra to a ragged stop, sighed deeply, leaned on his music stand and pointed his baton at a second row lady cellist and said "madam, what you have between your legs has brought great enjoyment to men for many many years but, all you can do is scratch it"
Experience; is something you gain, just after you needed it most.

When faced with two choices, simply toss a coin. It works not because it settles the question for you. But because in that brief moment while the coin is in the air. You suddenly know what you are hoping for.
Community Veteran
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Re: Great put down’s

Winston Churchill was full of them.  Two famous ones:
    Nancy Astor - You're drunk.
    Churchill - And you're ugly. But in the morning, I shall be sober.
    Nancy Astor - If you were my husband, I would poison your tea.
    Churchill - Madam, if you were my wife, I'd drink it.
Grin Grin
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Re: Great put down’s



Noel Coward
I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.
   
   
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Re: Great put down’s

If you've never been there then this site is great: http://www.siglets.com
When I first visited it in my teens I was almost sick I laughed so much  Shocked
I need a new signature... i'm bored of the old one!
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Re: Great put down’s

Mark Twain
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying that I approved of it.
Javert
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Re: Great put down’s

A well-known actress was rehearsing a musical version of Noel Coward’s “Blithe Spirit” - which was directed by the great man himself.  At one point the actress had to speak one of his best lines; he was sitting in the auditorium watching the rehearsal. She called out to him that she didn’t think the line worked very well.  He replied from the darkness of the auditorium: “Perfectly good line, darling, perfectly good line.  You might even get a laugh on it if you didn’t walk across the stage like a camel with piles whilst you’re saying it.”
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Re: Great put down’s

This thread deserves to be Google free. But I couldn't resist looking; there are some wonderful classics here: http://www.bertc.com/subfour/truth/putdowns.htm
Edit: and here: http://www.corsinet.com/braincandy/insult.html
Experience; is something you gain, just after you needed it most.

When faced with two choices, simply toss a coin. It works not because it settles the question for you. But because in that brief moment while the coin is in the air. You suddenly know what you are hoping for.
thejudge
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Re: Great put down’s

A sort of group put-down this.
Some of you may remember a woman called Pia Zadora. She was a model, actress and singer, and equally talentless at all of them.
Someone had the bright idea of casting her in the lead role in a stage production of The Diary Of Anne Frank.
On the first night, near the end, when the Nazi stormtroopers break down the door of the Frank's house, the audience with one voice shouted:
"She's in the attic!"
Community Veteran
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Re: Great put down’s

Wonderful Grin Grin Grin
Experience; is something you gain, just after you needed it most.

When faced with two choices, simply toss a coin. It works not because it settles the question for you. But because in that brief moment while the coin is in the air. You suddenly know what you are hoping for.
randpwar
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Re: Great put down’s

@ thejudge Thank you  Grin, you’ve cheered me up no end on a perfectly miserable, wet, cold day with that one
thisoldman
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Re: Great put down’s

Glasgow's favourite one.
"Its not that you are stupid that bothers me, its rather,you dont seem to know how f stupid you really are"