Glad I am not at work now!

[#1]

With all these silly phrases in use I am very glad not to be working now
see
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/magazine/7457287.stm

why don't people speak plain English?

[#2]

I agree - I used to get stuck with them as well.
Also we worked a lot with Americans so my boss used to pick up all the latest ones.

[#3]

Josie,
Careful now, I get into trouble with the folk in these topics.
I think some of them get annoyed when I ask for an explanation for some of the mysterious words and italics they use as a sort of jargon.
I beleive that some are unsettled when they try to think of what they actually mean.

[#4]

There's a difference between managementspeak and technical terms though... generally in that technical terms have a distinct meaning whereas managementspeak is (or at least appears to be) deliberately intended to obfuscate. That's how I see it anyway.

[#5]

Only slightly off topic 
I really felt for this Proof of Riemann Hypothesis where it was stated at the beginning

Quote

I recently noticed a quip that there were two sorts of mathematics papers - those where you can’t understand anything after the first page and those where you can’t understand anything after the first sentence. I’m glad that I’m not alone.

and the correction in the comments section

Quote

Regarding there being “two sorts of mathematics papers - those where you can’t understand anything after the first page and those where you can’t understand anything after the first sentence”, I would differ. There are at least two other kinds: the third kind are those where even the first sentence is not comprehensible, and the last kind, where the title of the paper isn’t either!

[#6]

It's depressing, though we do play 'buzz word bingo' in some meetings to pass the time.
Most irritating and over used currently at my place is 'lets put that in the car park', and what then - hope the issue gets run over and goes away?
Right back to my belt-and-braces design that really pushed the envelope 

[#7]

Saw this one today :

Quote

... to make sure nothing's gone awry and we're in a good place moving forwards.

What is a "good place" and why would you want to move if it's so good anyway?

[#8]

Well obviously it's your job to forge new paths going forwards and create your own good space. Preferably in a paradigmical way. Always remember to stay on the same page, especially whilst thinking outside the box.

[#9]

Quote from: orbrey

...whereas managementspeak is (or at least appears to be) deliberately intended to obfuscate.

Personally I see managementspeak not as a deliberate attempt to obfuscate, but an inability to express themselves using 'normal' English, leading to all these off-the-cuff invented terms.

[#10]

I see end of day was one of the horrors

[#11]

I dunno, personally it's something I quite look forward to.

[#12]

Why did the corporate chicken cross the road?
Deregulation of the chicken's side of the road was threatening its dominant market position. The chicken was faced with significant challenges to create and develop the competencies required for the newly competitive marketplace.
In a partnering relationship with the client, we helped the chicken by rethinking its physical distribution strategy and implementation processes. Using the Poultry Integration Model (PIM), we helped the chicken deploy its skills, methodologies, knowledge, capital and experiences to align the chicken's people, processes and technology in support of its overall strategy within a Program Management framework.
We convened a diverse cross-spectrum of road analysts and best chickens along with our own consultants with deep skills in the transportation industry to engage in a two-day itinerary of meetings in order to leverage their personal knowledge capital, both tacit and explicit, and to enable them to synergise with each other in order to achieve the implicit goals in delivering and successfully architecting and implementing and enterprise-wide value framework across the continuum of poultry cross-median processes.
The meeting was held in a park-like setting, enabling and creating an impactful environment which was strategically based, industry-focused, and built upon a consistent, clear, and unified market message and aligned with the chicken's mission, vision, and core values. This was conducive towards the creation of a total business integration solution.
In conclusion, we helped the chicken change to become more successful.

[#13]

Advanced Chicken System FTW!

(that's For the Win, by the way)

[#14]

Thought that meant "Fresh Till Wednesday" 

[#15]

Certainly makes more sense than For The Win, whatever that's meant to mean.