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For the pun-lovers amongst us...

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For the pun-lovers amongst us...

Punography.jpg

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Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear - Mark Twain
He who feared he would not succeed sat still

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Re: For the pun-lovers amongst us...

Policeman to errant motorist, driving the wrong way down a one way street...

 

"Didn`t you see the arrows ? "

 

Motorist....

 

"Arrows ?     I didn`t even see the indians !.....".....

Superuser
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Re: For the pun-lovers amongst us...

And a few oldies:

  • I wasn't originally going to get a brain transplant, but then I changed my mind.
  • Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.
  • A friend of mine tried to annoy me with bird puns, but I soon realized that toucan play at that game.
  • I'd tell you a chemistry joke but I know I wouldn't get a reaction.
  • Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He was lucky it was a soft drink.
  • It's not that women do not know how to juggle, the just don't have the balls to do it.
  • Yesterday I accidentally swallowed some food colouring. The doctor says I'm OK, but I feel like I've dyed a little inside.
  • Have you ever tried to eat a clock? It's very time consuming.

 

Plusnet Help Team
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Re: For the pun-lovers amongst us...

  • I was given a leaflet the other day on anger management. I lost it.
  • I've asked my girlfriend to polish my medieval battle uniform while I go to the pub. She always said she wanted a night in, shining armour.
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 Matthew Wheeler
 Plusnet Help Team
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Re: For the pun-lovers amongst us...

I called out the emergency electrician, but he couldn`t come, as he was on light duties. Roll eyes

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Re: For the pun-lovers amongst us...

A "Plumb Bob" is a plumber called Robert....

Plusnet Help Team
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Re: For the pun-lovers amongst us...

  • I’m fed up with my mates, 3 times now they've agreed to go to a Whitesnake gig with me and then not showed up!! Here I go again on my own!
  • Police looking for a man who stabbed 6 people with knitting needles. He seems to be following some sort of pattern.
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 Matthew Wheeler
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Re: For the pun-lovers amongst us...

NOTE:  Jokes about unemployed people are not funny. They just don't work.    

 

AND

 

I heard Apple is designing a new automatic car. But they're having trouble installing windows.

 

 

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Re: For the pun-lovers amongst us...



I heard Apple is designing a new automatic car. But they're having trouble installing windows.

 

 


 

 

Core!... that`s funny  ! ! ! !....

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Re: For the pun-lovers amongst us...

A panda walks into a bar and says to the bartender I'll have a gin

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And tonic

 

OK says the bartender but why the big pause?

 

Oh these says the panda, I was born with them!

To do is to be - Neitzsche
To be is to do - Kant
do be do be do - Sinatra
Luzern
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Re: For the pun-lovers amongst us...


shutter wrote:


I heard Apple is designing a new automatic car. But they're having trouble installing windows.

 

 


 

 

Core!... that`s funny  ! ! ! !....

 


Dual or quad?

No one has to agree with my opinion, but in the time I have left a miracle would be nice.
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Re: For the pun-lovers amongst us...

A few more...

 

Jill broke her little finger today, on the other hand, it was OK!

A handlebar moustache may look ridiculous but eyelashes are cilia.

You want to clone yourself? Now wouldn't that be just like you!

I try wearing tight jeans, but I can never pull them off.

I almost got my haircut then I thought I'd mullet over first.

Forum Moderator and Customer
Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear - Mark Twain
He who feared he would not succeed sat still

Superuser
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Re: For the pun-lovers amongst us...

It was a terrible summer for Humpty Dumpty...

But he had a great fall.

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Re: For the pun-lovers amongst us...

Hah !... It`s a cracker!   ..    ( How do you type an irish accent on here  ? ?   Cheesy )

Luzern
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Re: For the pun-lovers amongst us...

A camp site is burgled. Police classify the crime as "robbery within tent".

No one has to agree with my opinion, but in the time I have left a miracle would be nice.