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Emergency call of the future ?

Midnight_Caller
Rising Star
Posts: 4,143
Thanks: 7
Fixes: 1
Registered: 15-04-2007

Emergency call of the future ?

Hi All
Just seen this and I think you may like it!


You have dialed 999
Welcome to the emergency hotline sponsored by Wiggins Brasso and Fart Solicitors for you
Your call may be recorded for legal and marketing purposes
To enable us to process your call efficiently please choose from the following options,
If you own your own home press 1
If you rent your property from a private landlord press 2
If you rent your property from your local council press 3

Thank you,
You pressed 1
To obtain cheaper mortage and home insurance quotes press 4 to contact Wiggins Brasso and Fart Financial Services
or press 9 to continue
Thank you,
You pressed 2
To obtain advice on your tenants rights press 5 to contact Wiggins Brasso and Fart Solictiors
or press 9 to continue
Thank you,
You pressed 3
To obtain advice on your benefits press 6 to contact Wiggins Brasso and Fart Benefit Hotline
or 9 to continue
Please choose from the following
If you are married or living with a partner press 1
If you are single press 2
Thank you,
You pressed 1
To obtain help or advice concerning Domestic Violence advice press 3 to Contact Wiggins Brasso and Fart Solicitors
or press 9 to continue
Thank you,
You pressed 2
To join our Dating Agency press 4  to Contact Partners For YOU
or press 9 to continue
Please choose from the following options.
If you have children under 16 press 1
If you have no children under 16 press 2
Thank you,
You pressed 1
using your keypad enter the number of children under 16
Thank you,
For the best prices on school uniforms and equipment press 3 to contact Wiggin Brasso and Fart School Outfitters
or press 9 to continue
Thank you,
You pressed 2
to obtain advice on impotence and infertility press 4 to contact Wiggins Brasso and Fart Family and Medical Services Ltd,
or press 9 to continue
Please choose from the following options
For an Ambulance press 1
To request a visit from the FireBrigade press 2
To contact the police press 3
Thank you,
You pressed 1
For Medical Incompetence Insurance press 4 to contact DoctorSafe ltd or press 7 for Oak, Brass, Pine and Plastic Funeral Directors.
or press 9 to continue
Thank you,
You pressed 2
For Home Insurance press 5 to contact SafeHome Insurance Ltd or press 7 for Oak, Brass, Pine and Plastic Funeral Directors.
or press 9 to continue
Thank you,
You pressed 3
For legal advice press 6 to contact Wiggins Brasso and Fart Solictors for you or press 7 for Oak, Brass, Pine and Plastic Funeral Directors.
or press 9 to continue.
Thank you,
You pressed 7
to obtain Pine press 1 or for Plastic press 2
or press 9 to speek to us.
Thank you
Your call may be recorded for legal and marketing purposes
Your call is in a queue and will be answered as soon as possible.
Your call is important to us.
Sorry all our advisors are busy at the moment.
Please hold and your call will be answered.


Modified by me.  Grin
1 REPLY
Community Veteran
Posts: 13,923
Thanks: 515
Fixes: 7
Registered: 01-08-2007

Re: Emergency call of the future ?

Sad thing is I doubt you're too far out with that. Once upon a time the military was one of our vital public services.. and now thats almost non-existant.
I need a new signature... i'm bored of the old one!