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Eats, shoots and leaves

Community Veteran
Posts: 1,699
Registered: 30-07-2007

Eats, shoots and leaves

I think I must be getting old, but I find that I'm becoming less and less tolerant of bad English.  I'm not sure if I'll be able to stop myself from responding the next time I see the word "less", when it should be "fewer". You know what I mean - "the navy will have less ships" No it won't, it'll have fewer ships. If it's a number then it's fewer!  Angry
You can use less energy, but that will mean you'll need fewer power stations (not less power stations)
Do you have any examples of bad English that drive you mad?  Crazy
33 REPLIES
Community Veteran
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Registered: 01-08-2007

Re: Eats, shoots and leaves

Ys m8 i no lts exmpl of bd enlsh  Wink
I need a new signature... i'm bored of the old one!
Community Veteran
Posts: 1,699
Registered: 30-07-2007

Re: Eats, shoots and leaves

Txt spk I cn liv wth it is what it is, but if people are speaking or writing in English, then the rules of English should apply.
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Re: Eats, shoots and leaves

the amount of double negatives I hear drives me nuts. "I ain't got no money" err so you have lots of money?
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Registered: 15-06-2007

Re: Eats, shoots and leaves

For those who don't quite see what relevance the title has - it comes from this old joke
Quote
A panda walks into a café. He orders a sandwich, eats it, then draws a gun and proceeds to fire it at the other patrons. ‘Why?’ asks the confused, surviving waiter amidst the carnage, as the panda makes towards the exit. The panda produces a badly punctuated wildlife manual and tosses it over his shoulder. ‘Well, I’m a panda,’ he says, at the door. ‘Read the manual.’ The waiter turns to the relevant entry in the manual and, sure enough, finds an explanation.
    ‘Panda. Large black-and-white bear-like mammal, native to China. Eats, shoots and leaves.’
Community Veteran
Posts: 1,699
Registered: 30-07-2007

Re: Eats, shoots and leaves

And of course the title of a best selling book on the same subject Smiley
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Re: Eats, shoots and leaves

Great book Smiley
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thejudge
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Re: Eats, shoots and leaves

People typing/writing "loose" when they mean "lose".  Angry Angry Angry
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Registered: 12-08-2007

Re: Eats, shoots and leaves

@thejudge, a very common mistake on the forums.
Another is someone not knowing the difference between: To, Two and Too. 
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Re: Eats, shoots and leaves

or it's and it
bought or brought ....
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Community Veteran
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Registered: 02-02-2008

Re: Eats, shoots and leaves

not starting sentences with capital letters
and not writing proper sentences either
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Registered: 06-11-2007

Re: Eats, shoots and leaves

There and their
There = Place= T+ HERE...............
Their= ownership = T + HEIR.............
198kHz
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Re: Eats, shoots and leaves

Your - belonging to you
You're - you are
Some are so wrong they're amusing - I've seen quite a few people write or say 'flaunt' when they mean 'flout'.
Not young enough to know everything
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Re: Eats, shoots and leaves

Quote from: shutter
There and their
There = Place= T+ HERE...............
Their= ownership = T + HEIR.............

Not forgetting They're = They are
Grocers' apostrophes
Quote from: HPsauce
and not writing proper sentences either

A lack of full stops making it hard at times to decipher the real meaning.

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Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear - Mark Twain
He who feared he would not succeed sat still

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Re: Eats, shoots and leaves

A few notices/signs easily misunderstood (or just funny):
Quote
1. In a restroom: TOILET OUT OF ORDER. PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW
2. In a Laundromat: AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT
3. In a London department store: BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS
4. In an office: WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN
5. In another office: AFTER TEA BREAK STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON THE DRAINING BOARD
6. Outside a secondhand shop: WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING - BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC., WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?
7. Notice in health food shop window: CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS
8. Spotted in a safari park: ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR
9. Seen during a conference: FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE 1ST FLOOR
10. Notice in a farmer's field: THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES.
11. Message on a leaflet: IF YOU CANNOT READ, THIS LEAFLET WILL TELL YOU HOW TO GET LESSONS
12. On a repair shop door: WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR - THE BELL DOESN'T WORK)

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Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear - Mark Twain
He who feared he would not succeed sat still