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Drinking Beer

nadger
Rising Star
Posts: 4,498
Thanks: 46
Registered: 13-04-2007

Drinking Beer

This is worrying

Beer contains female hormones.
Last month, Wits University and RAU scientists released the results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer.
Men should take a concerned look at their beer consumption.
The theory is that beer contains female hormones (hops contain Phytoestrogens) and that by drinking enough beer, men turn into women .
To test the theory, 100 men drank 8 pints of beer each within a 1 hour
period.

It was then observed that 100% of the test subjects :

1) Argued over nothing.
2) Refused to apologize when obviously wrong.
3) Gained weight.
4) Talked excessively without making sense.

5) Became overly emotional
6) Couldn't drive.
7) Failed to think rationally.
Cool Had to sit down while urinating.
No further testing was considered necessary.
[Moderator's note by Thomas (Be3G): Disabled smileys for you as SMF was interpreting ‘Cool’ as one.]
5 REPLIES
Community Veteran
Posts: 3,291
Thanks: 2
Registered: 10-08-2007

Re: Drinking Beer

Cool Were unable to read a map
[Moderator's note by Thomas (Be3G): Disabled smileys for you as SMF was interpreting ‘Cool’ as one.]
Community Veteran
Posts: 7,151
Thanks: 52
Fixes: 2
Registered: 30-08-2007

Re: Drinking Beer

Good to see this one again, its actually been doing the rounds for a couple of years now.
The old one's are the best...
Would this be the thread for a good (but also second hand) blonde joke?
Experience; is something you gain, just after you needed it most.

When faced with two choices, simply toss a coin. It works not because it settles the question for you. But because in that brief moment while the coin is in the air. You suddenly know what you are hoping for.
nadger
Rising Star
Posts: 4,498
Thanks: 46
Registered: 13-04-2007

Re: Drinking Beer

Quote from: Petlew
Would this be the thread for a good (but also second hand) blonde joke?

As long as it's not " how do you make a blonde's eyes sparkle - shine a torch in her ear"  Roll eyes
Community Veteran
Posts: 3,826
Thanks: 44
Fixes: 1
Registered: 24-09-2008

Re: Drinking Beer

Start the ball rolling, very old one.

A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighbourhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do.
"Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?"
The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?"
The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch."
A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.
"You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. "Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. "And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."
Community Veteran
Posts: 7,151
Thanks: 52
Fixes: 2
Registered: 30-08-2007

Re: Drinking Beer

Ok my arm's been twisted:
A Blonde was sent on her way to Heaven. Upon arrival, a concerned St Peter met her at the Pearly Gates.
'I'm sorry,' St Peter said; 'But Heaven is suffering from an overload of goodly souls and we have been forced to put up an Entrance Exam for new arrivals to ease the burden of Heavenly Arrivals.'
'That's cool' said the blonde, 'What does the Entrance Exam consist of?' Just three questions' said St Peter.
Which are?' asked the blonde.
The first,' said St Peter, 'is, which two days of the week start with the letter 'T' '?
The second is 'How many seconds are there in a year?'
The third is 'What was the name of the swagman in Waltzing Matilda?'
'Now,' said St Peter, 'Go away and think about those questions and when I call upon you, I shall expect you to have those answers for me.'
So the blonde went away and gave those three questions some considerable thought (I expect you to do the same).
The following morning, St Peter called upon the blonde and asked if she had considered the questions, to which she replied, 'I have.'
'Well then,' said St Peter, 'Which two days of the week start with the letter T?'
The blonde said, 'Today and Tomorrow.'
St Peter pondered this answer for some time, and decided that indeed the answer can be applied to the question.
'Well then, could I have your answer to the second of the three questions?' St Peter went on, 'how many seconds in a year?'
The Blonde replied, 'Twelve!' 'Only twelve?' exclaimed St Peter, 'How did you arrive at that figure?'
'Easy,' said the blonde, 'there's the second of January, the second of February, right through to the second of December, giving a total of twelve seconds.'
St Peter looked at the blonde and said, 'I need some time to consider your answer before I can give you a decision.' And he walked away shaking his head.
A short time later, St Peter returned to the Blonde. 'I'll allow the answer to stand, but you need to get the third and final question absolutely  correct to be allowed into Heaven. Now, can you tell me the answer to the name of the swagman in Waltzing Matilda?'
The blonde replied: 'Of the three questions, I found this the easiest to answer.'
'Really!' exclaimed St Peter, 'And what is the answer?'
'It's Andy.'
'Andy??'
'Yes, Andy,' said the blonde.
This totally floored St Peter, and he paced this way and that, deliberating the answer. Finally, he could not stand the suspense any longer, and turning to the blonde, asked 'How in God's name did you arrive at THAT answer?'
'Easy' said the blonde,
>
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?
'Andy sat, Andy watched, Andy waited til his billy boiled.'
And the blonde entered Heaven...
Experience; is something you gain, just after you needed it most.

When faced with two choices, simply toss a coin. It works not because it settles the question for you. But because in that brief moment while the coin is in the air. You suddenly know what you are hoping for.