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Does reading this article make you feel awkward?

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Does reading this article make you feel awkward?

Not religion, politics or immigration. Read the article, I think we are all guilty of feeling awkward at some time.
http://m.bbc.co.uk/news/blogs-ouch-27338770
I meet a lot of disabled people and now realise that I sometimes talk to the 'helper' rather than the disabled person. Not deliberately, but I do it done times.
I will try to change.
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Re: Does reading this article make you feel awkward?

Mrs Petlew is seriously disabled and wheelchair bound outside of home, and yes I do find that people tend to speak to me rather than to her. She is quite lucid and intelligent but sadly she has grown accustomed to it, and no longer makes cutting remarks such as "I am down here you know and able to speak for myself!!" I probably get more annoyed about it than she does now, and will often icily remark "why don't ask <name> she can speak for herself"
Most people are very kind and helpful when it come to opening doors and making space in lifts and that sort of thing for us, but it seems to me an increasing number of people look straight through us, it is by no means uncommon to have those two example doors shut in our faces, usually with a loud call after them of "well thank you for your assistance"
When on my own, it will be no surprise that I am very helpful when encountering the disabled that need any help with doors etc. and always if appropriate lightly touch an arm with a quick enquiry to the patient if everything is ok today, you'd be surprised to find how appreciated with a smile that small gesture is, it costs me nothing but can to coin a phrase make someone's day.
Experience; is something you gain, just after you needed it most.

When faced with two choices, simply toss a coin. It works not because it settles the question for you. But because in that brief moment while the coin is in the air. You suddenly know what you are hoping for.
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Re: Does reading this article make you feel awkward?

When my mum started to use the wheelchair places like the bank would frequently look to me and ask "does she prefer £10s or £20s". They had mum's name in front of them so why not even ask "does Mrs <surname> prefer £10s or £20s"? I would always answer with "you'd better ask her". After a few times I would stand back once we reached the counter so that the interaction had to be betweeen the teller and mum.
It's different now as mum's memory has deterioted to the point that I frquently need to be beside her to prompt her but I still try to strand back a bit allowing her some independence.
When out and about I rarely notice strangers approaching with well-wishing comments but most do open doors and assist if we are struggling to negotiate a particularly narrow or awkwark entrance, etc.
Not sure why, though, some people clearly speak in a louder, slower voice at wheelchair users Undecided
Like Petlew, because I understand the needs of someone with some form of disability, I will always offer assistance if I can.

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Re: Does reading this article make you feel awkward?

Quote from: Petlew
Most people are very kind and helpful when it come to opening doors and making space in lifts and that sort of thing for us, but it seems to me an increasing number of people look straight through us, it is by no means uncommon to have those two example doors shut in our faces,

And you might think its teenagers who are the worst offenders but they're not at all, I find they usually fall over themselves to be helpful, nearly always with a cheery hello. Doors have been held open for us by torpid shoulders down hoodies who reply with a non-committal grunt when we thank them, Neanderthal Hells Angles have helped and, passed the time of day chatting to Mrs P. By far the worst group are 40's to middle aged women sweeping through doors making an entrance.
It pays not to judge character by appearances. 
Experience; is something you gain, just after you needed it most.

When faced with two choices, simply toss a coin. It works not because it settles the question for you. But because in that brief moment while the coin is in the air. You suddenly know what you are hoping for.
Devonian
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Re: Does reading this article make you feel awkward?

I have through my job, that when it comes to the disabled/frail that some times I just can't do right for doing wrong.
For example, a lady in a wheel chair answered the door to me, she asked me to place her parcel on her lap, which I did.
I then asked her if she would like me to sign my PDA on her behalf, as she very obviously had her hands full, trying to balance the box, and move her wheel chair around, and keep the dog in  Roll eyes
She then very nastily told me that just because her legs didn't work, didn't mean the rest of her didn't work either!
So the next time I went to her door, I put the box on here lap, and asked for a signature.
Her reply?
Can't you see I'm disabled and struggling here?
Now, granted she is a miserable sod, but I have had similar incidents with other disabled people.
It seem's disabled people want to be treated 'normally' and when they are, they want to be treated exceptionally.
Not all of course, before certain people start complaining.  Grin
It seem's in Petlews case, he and his wife are being treated 'normally', as many, many middle aged/older people are getting ruder and ruder, so having doors shut in your face is as normal as it gets!
At the end of the day, it's manners.
Or lack of.
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Re: Does reading this article make you feel awkward?

Quote from: Petlew
It pays not to judge character by appearances.  

I'd agree that middle-aged women are the most likely candidates to push past apparently totally unaware that the door they've just walked through is about to shut on you.
Of the younger generation it is the male species that seem most polite and willing to assist and, it appears, more so in front of their mates rather than girlfriends.
These are just my observations.
@Devonian That's very true. It's can be a difiicult balance trying to help someone with a disability while trying not to make them feel dependant and helpless.

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Midnight_Caller
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Re: Does reading this article make you feel awkward?

Quote
The survey by Scope also suggests that 43% of people don't know anyone who is disabled. Either those people are blind (which would be very ironic) or they don't understand disability that well. We're not all in wheelchairs. Some disabilities are more visible than others.
Only 17% of people are born with their disabilities. The rest I call the not-yet-disabled, because being able-bodied is not a lifelong certainty, I'm afraid. Now that's certainly awkward.

My Bold, Watt I agree with 100%
As you may know I have a disabilitie, you would be amazed how many people don't know what Dyslexia is!  I.E. a disabilitie.
The number of times I have sed to some one that I am Dyslexic when they have pushed a bunch of paperwork in to my hands, and thay have come out with well can't you get someone to read it for you, my reply is yes you can read it to me.
Why does Banks, Shops and so on expect me to put their bunch of paperwork froogh O.C.R.
Wen I ask for there paperwork to be send to me by email in pdf or in Microsoft Word - 9 times out of 10 the answer is no
So I ask them to send it by post on a CD with there paperwork in pdf or in Microsoft Word - again the answer is on 9 times out of 10
The standard answer is that we don't do that.  Angry
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Re: Does reading this article make you feel awkward?

Someone said to me recently.....
"I never know whether to offer assistance to a disabled person or not as I might get the response in an annoyed tone, 'I am quite capable thank you very much' so I usually don't"
They based this on past experience and I know how they felt.
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