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Doctor Doctor

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Doctor Doctor

Let's see how many Doctor type jokes we can get Grin Cheesy
A few to start
Doctor, doctor, I keep seeing cartoon animals who talk.
"It sounds as if you're suffering from Disney spells."
Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I'm a pair of curtains.
"Pull yourself together."
Doctor, doctor, I can't pronounce my F's, Ts or Hs.
"Well, you can't say fairer than that then."

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Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear - Mark Twain
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Re: Doctor Doctor

Doctor, Doctor I think I have an inferiority complex.
"Next!"
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Re: Doctor Doctor

Doctor i feel like a pair of curtains...
Doctor ... Pull yourself together man
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Re: Doctor Doctor

Doctor I swallowed the dictionary!
Doctor: Don't breath a word to anyone.

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Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear - Mark Twain
He who feared he would not succeed sat still

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Re: Doctor Doctor

'Doctor, I feel like a billiard ball'
'Well, get to the end of the cue'
Call me 'w23'
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Re: Doctor Doctor

'Doctor, I keep thinking I'm a bank note.'
'Come back tomorrow and I'll see if there's any change.'
Not young enough to know everything
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Re: Doctor Doctor

Doctor, Doctor1 What can I do? Everyone thinks I'm a liar?
- I find that very hard to believe!
Doctor, Doctor! I feel like a pack of cards?
- I'll deal with you later!
Doctor, Doctor! I think I'm a cat?
- How long has this been going on?
- Oh, since I was a kitten I guess!

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Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear - Mark Twain
He who feared he would not succeed sat still

198kHz
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Re: Doctor Doctor

"Doctor, doctor,  I just can't stop my hands shaking."
"Do you drink a lot?"
"Not really - I spill most of it!"
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kitkat
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Re: Doctor Doctor

To completely get away from doctor jokes. How about this one. Friday night in a pub and the place is at bursting point with customers. A tramp comes in and asks the landlord if he could take a plastic spoon? Landlord so busy just tells him,  yes and to get out. 5 minutes later, another tramp comes in and he also asks for a plastic spoon. Landlord gives him one and tells him not to come back. After another 5  minutes, yet another tramp comes in and asks for a straw. Landlord now flips.Makes it perfectly clear to him to get out, then asks him what the hell is going on. Tramp tells him, someone had been sick outside and all the best bits had gone. Cheesy   

Hope this  joke does not offend anyone.
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Re: Doctor Doctor

Oh, perfect timing, I've just finished my breakfast........just finished my breakfast.......just finished my breakfast Lips are sealed
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Re: Doctor Doctor

Perhaps the warning should have come first  Wink
Back on topic...
Patient: Doctor Doctor! I feel like a bell!
Doctor: Don't worry! Try this medicine and if it doesn't work then give me a  ring.
Patient: Doctor Doctor! I feel like a pony!
Doctor: That's OK! You're just a little hoarse!

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Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear - Mark Twain
He who feared he would not succeed sat still

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Re: Doctor Doctor

The late (and great) Tommy Cooper was probably the true master of the 'Doctor joke', I'm sure he'd approve of this thread.
Call me 'w23'
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Re: Doctor Doctor

I agree and was actually thinking of Cooper when I started this thread. A true comic genius Grin

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Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear - Mark Twain
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Re: Doctor Doctor

Patient: When I lift my hand above my shoulder it hurts.
Doctor: Don't do it then.
This was one of Ken Dodd's jokes, another of the great comedians.
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Re: Doctor Doctor

‘Doctor, doctor, I keep feeling like I’m a packet of savoury biscuits!’
‘Oh no. You’re crackers!’

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Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear - Mark Twain
He who feared he would not succeed sat still