Found these whilst looking for inspiration.. RUSSIAN RUDOLPH There was once a czar in Russia whose name was Rudolph the Great. He was standing in his house one day with his wife. He looked out the window and saw something happening. He said to his wife, "Look honey, It’s raining." She being the obstinate type responded, "I don’t think so dear. I think it’s snowing." But Rudolph knew better. So he said to his wife, "Let’s step outside and we’ll find out." Lo and behold, they stepped outside and discovered it was in fact rain. And Rudolph turned to his wife and replied, "I knew it was raining. Rudolph the Red knows rain dear!" CHRISTMAS SHOPPING It was Christmas and the judge was in a merry mood as he asked the prisoner, "What are you charged with?" "Doing my Christmas shopping early," replied the defendant. That’s no offense," said the judge. "How early were you doing the shopping?" "Before the store opened," countered the prisoner. T’WAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS T’was the night before Christmas and all through the house, not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse. The stockings were hung by the chimney with care. They’d been worn all week and needed the air. THE 3 STAGES OF MAN He believes in Santa Claus. He doesn’t believe in Santa Claus. He is Santa Claus.