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A man walks into a bar & asks the bartender for a glass of water,

TORPC
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A man walks into a bar & asks the bartender for a glass of water,

The bartender pulls out a shotgun, fires it & narrowly missed the man,
The man says thank you & leaves a substantial tip with a big smile.
Why did the man leave the tip with a substantial smile ?Huh
12 REPLIES
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Re: A man walks into a bar & asks the bartender for a glass of water,

Hiccups Undecided Undecided
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Re: A man walks into a bar & asks the bartender for a glass of water,

^^ what he said.
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Re: A man walks into a bar & asks the bartender for a glass of water,

He'd shot Edward De Bono?
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Re: A man walks into a bar & asks the bartender for a glass of water,

A cowboy walked into a bar and ordered a whiskey. When the bartender delivered the drink, the cowboy asked, "Where is everybody?" The bartender replied, "They've gone to the hanging." "Hanging? Who are they hanging?" "Paper Bag Pete," the bartender replied.
"Strange name?" says the cowboy asked. "Well," said the bartender, "he wears a paper bag hat, paper bag shirt, and trousers made from paper bags."
"What are they hanging him for?"

"Rustling"
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Re: A man walks into a bar & asks the bartender for a glass of water,

A frog walks into a pub and orders a pint and a cheese sandwich.
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Superuser
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Re: A man walks into a bar & asks the bartender for a glass of water,

Careful Strat, for some pedant will call you racist against the French, for a reptile frog would hop into a bar!   Cheesy
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Re: A man walks into a bar & asks the bartender for a glass of water,

It is a frog of the reptilian persuasion and I thought it best that he walks rather than hops as otherwise he would spill his beer.
Anyway the landlord serves the frog it's beer and sandwich and the frog goes and sits down at a table.
Over the next couple of days the frog comes in and orders the same.
Eventually the landlord says to the frog "I haven't seen you around before".
"No" says the frog, "I've just started at the new housing development down the road"
"Oh, what do you do?"
"I'm a plasterer" says the frog.
The following Monday a circus sets up in a field across from the pub and that afternoon the owner comes into the pub for a pint.
"I have a great idea for a new act for your circus" says the landlord.
"Yes..what would that be?" asks the circus owner.
"A talking frog" says the landlord, "He comes in here every day....you've just missed him"
"Give him my card and I'll give him an interview" said the circus owner with a sceptical look in his eye.
Next day the frog comes in for his usual lunch and the landlord says "I have a great new job for you"
"Oh" says the frog "and what would that be?"
"The circus across the road, I've got you an interview" said the landlord.
"That place with the tent and all the animals?" said the frog.
"Yes, that's the place"
The frog looks very puzzled and says "What would a circus want with a plasterer?"
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Re: A man walks into a bar & asks the bartender for a glass of water,

ha ha. or something Wink
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Thunderclap
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Re: A man walks into a bar & asks the bartender for a glass of water,

A man walks into a bar in Kensington and asks the barista for a glass of water...
Swearing, the man walks out of the bar, hails a taxi to Heathrow, gets the first EasyJet* to Glasgow, gets a train, a bus and a boat to the the Highlands of Scotland where, he buys a bottle of twenty year old Malt Whiskey from the distillery [at tourist prices]. In one go, he downs the whole bottle, wakes up from a coma somewhere near Aberdeen, catches a RyanAir* back to London Stanstead, gets a train and two tubes back to the Kensington bar and then, says to the bartista, "you see, doing that was much cheaper than a your water."
The barista shrugs, and then continues serving more dumb Russians with filtered London tap water, in a blue bottle.
Cool You know the place I'm talking about......
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Re: A man walks into a bar & asks the bartender for a glass of water,

He wouldn't have been able to fly on the routes as they don't exist Grin Grin Grin
TORPC
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Re: A man walks into a bar & asks the bartender for a glass of water,

A mushroom walks into a bar
and the bartender says "We don't serve your kind here."
and the mushroom says - "Why not? I'm a fungi."
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Re: A man walks into a bar & asks the bartender for a glass of water,

An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman walk into a bar.

"What's this," said the landlord, "some kind of a joke?"
Not young enough to know everything