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A funny thing happened on the way to the forum - not .....

Community Veteran
Posts: 16,825
Thanks: 1,115
Fixes: 13
Registered: 06-11-2007

A funny thing happened on the way to the forum - not .....

OK you guys... where has all the humour gone on chit chat?  Just take a look at the last 10 to 15 postings subjects.....
Have we all lost our sense of humour since the religion/racist postings? 
I certainly seem to have a lack of humouristic postings at present, and am wracking my brain for something to brighten up our morning and evening sessions....

6 REPLIES
Community Veteran
Posts: 3,826
Thanks: 44
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Registered: 24-09-2008

Re: A funny thing happened on the way to the forum - not .....

FWIW
A drunk walked into a bar and, after staring for some time at the only woman seated at the bar, walked over and kissed her.
She jumped up and slapped him silly. He immediately apologized and explained, "I sorry. I thought you were my wife. You look exactly like her."
"Why you worthless, insufferable, wicked, no good drunk!" she screamed.
"Funny," he muttered, "you even sound like her." Roll eyes
Community Veteran
Posts: 1,894
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Registered: 20-10-2012

Re: A funny thing happened on the way to the forum - not .....

Said Hamlet to Ophelia
I'll make a sketch of thee.
What kind of pencil shall I use
2b or not 2b!
Spike Milligan
Geoff,
York.
Superuser
Superuser
Posts: 2,584
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Registered: 10-04-2007

Re: A funny thing happened on the way to the forum - not .....

There I was sitting at the bar staring at my drink when a large, trouble-making biker steps up next to me, grabs my drink and gulps it down in one swig.


"Well, whatcha' gonna do about it?" he says, menacingly, as I burst into tears.

"Come on, man," the biker says, "I didn't think you'd cry. I can't stand to see a man crying."

"This is the worst day of my life," I say.
"I'm a complete failure. I was late to a meeting and my boss fired me. When I went to the parking lot, I found my car had been stolen and I don't have any insurance. I left my wallet in the cab I took home. I found my wife with another man... And then my dog bit me."
 
"So I came to this bar to work up the courage to put an end to it all, I buy a drink, I drop a capsule in and sit here watching the poison dissolve; and then you show up and drink the whole damn thing! But, hell, enough about me, how are you doing?"

Grin
Community Veteran
Posts: 18,544
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Registered: 12-08-2007

Re: A funny thing happened on the way to the forum - not .....


WHY SENIORS STILL NEED NEWSPAPERS


I was visiting my daughter last night when
I asked if I could borrow a newspaper.
"This is the 21st century dad," she said. "we don't waste money on
newspapers, here, use my iPad."


I can tell you this, that bloody fly never knew what hit him... 
Community Veteran
Posts: 16,825
Thanks: 1,115
Fixes: 13
Registered: 06-11-2007

Re: A funny thing happened on the way to the forum - not .....

Thanks guys.... that`s cheered me up a bit... anyone got any more?
Cheesy
Superuser
Superuser
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Registered: 10-04-2007

Re: A funny thing happened on the way to the forum - not .....


An older gentleman had an appointment to see the urologist who shared offices with several other doctors.

The waiting room was filled with patients. As he approached the receptionist's desk, he noticed that the receptionist was a large unfriendly woman who looked like a Sumo wrestler.

He gave her his name.

In a very loud voice, the receptionist said, "YES, I HAVE YOUR NAME HERE; YOU WANT TO SEE THE DOCTOR ABOUT IMPOTENCE, RIGHT?"

All the patients in the waiting room snapped their heads around to look at the very embarrassed man.

He recovered quickly, and in an equally loud voice replied, 
'NO,  I'VE COME TO INQUIRE ABOUT A SEX CHANGE OPERATION, BUT I DON'T WANT THE SAME DOCTOR THAT DID YOURS.'

The room erupted in applause.