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Womens humour


Womens humour

Womens humour - excellent! (I ought to put Brummie bitches name to this as she emailed them to me)

My boyfriend, not happy with my mood swings, bought me a mood ring the
other day so he would be able to monitor my moods. When I'm in a good
mood it turns green. When I'm in a bad mood it leaves a big f*cking red
mark on his forehead. Maybe next time he'll buy me a diamond.

My husband came home with a tube of KY jelly and said, "This will make
you happy tonight." He was right. When he went out of the bedroom, I
squirted it all over the doorknobs. He couldn't get back in.

A couple are lying in bed. The man says, "I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world." The woman says, "I'll miss you."

Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man? A: A rumour.

He said - Since I first laid eyes on you, I've wanted to make Love to you really badly. She said - Well, you've succeeded.

He said 'Shall we try swapping positions tonight?'. She said 'That's a good idea... you stand by the ironing board while I sit On the sofa and fart'.

He said 'What have you been doing with all the grocery money that I gave you?' She said 'Turn sideways and look in the mirror you fat b*stard'.

Q: What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband? A: 45 minutes.

Q: What's the fastest way to a man's heart? A: Through his chest with a sharp knife.

Q: Why do men want to marry virgins? A: They can't stand criticism.

Q: Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring,
and good looking? A: Because those men already have boyfriends.

Q: What makes men chase women if they have no intention of marrying? A: The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of

Q: What do you do if you see a man running around with half a head? A: Reload and try again!,

Womens humour

Ah, you've spoilt tomorrows joke for the day!

I'll have to have a dig about for something else that is cleanish!


Men cannot tell dirty jokes I can tell you!! Ivan


I used to think Men could tell dirty jokes, but HOW WRONG!!!! I was. That was before I had an IT job working along side female nursing staff on an intensive care unit in a major Leeds NHS teaching hospital. I dont blush or get embrassed or shock easily because I come from a medical family & my father was a doctor but several times whilst having a tea break female nurses told jokes that almost made me leave the room. Dirty jokes MEN havent a clue!! you should hear what some nurses come out with jokes about sex & death truely jaw dropping stuff. Many times I blushed and felt embrassed too. :lol: Shockedops: :lol: Shockedops: But believe me, No! sorry men cannot tell dirty jokes but some women definately can tell jokes that leave men standing in the pale shade!! believe me its true.


Womens humour

and nurses are amongst the worst too, i'm married to one!!