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The Chav Nativity

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The Chav Nativity

THE CHAV NATIVITY:

There's this bird called Mary, yeah? She's a virgin (wossat then?)
She's not married or nuffink, but she's got this boyfriend, Joe, innit?
He does joinery an' that. Mary lives with him in a crib dahn Nazaref.
One day Mary meets this bloke Gabriel. She's like `Oo ya lookin at?'
Gabriel just goes 'You got one up the duff, you have.' Mary's totally gobsmacked.
She gives it to him large 'Stop dissin' me yeah? I ain't no Kappa-slapper.
I never bin wiv no one!'
So Mary goes and sees her cousin Liz, who's six months gone herself.
Liz is largin' it. She's filled with spirits, Barcardi Breezers an' that.
She's like 'Orright, Mary, I can feel me bay-bee in me tummy and I reckon I'm well blessed. Think of all the extra benefits an' that we are gonna get.'
Mary goes 'Yeah, s'pose you're right'
Mary an' Joe ain't got no money so they have to ponse a donkey, an' go dahn Bethlehem on that. They get to this pub an' Mary wants to stop, yeah?
To have her bay-bee an' that.
But there ain't no room at the inn, innit? So Mary an' Joe break an' enter into this garridge, only it's filled wiv animals. Cahs an' sheep an' that.
Then these three geezers turn up, looking proper bling, wiv crowns on their heads. They're like `Respect, bay-bee Jesus', an' say they're wise men from the East End.
Joe goes: 'If you're so wise, wotchoo doin' wiv this Frankenstein an' myrrh?
Why dincha just bring gold, Adidas and Burberry?' It's all about to kick off when Gabriel turns up again an' sez he's got another message from this Lord geezer.
He's like 'The police is comin an' they're killin all the bay-bees.
You better nash off to Egypt.' Joe goes 'You must be monged if you think
I'm goin' dahn Egypt on a minging donkey'
Gabriel sez 'Suit yerself, pal. But it's your look out if you stay.'
So they go dahn Egypt till they've stopped killin the first-born an' it's safe an' that.
Then Joe and Mary and Jesus go back to Nazaref,
an' Jesus turns water into Stella.

HAPPY CHRISTMAS
9 REPLIES
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The Chav Nativity

Excellent. :lol:
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The Chav Nativity

oh now that is class, and great having the link, I'm in Holyhead so good be able to get on the site that easy, have a great Christmas
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The Chav Nativity

ARGHHHH!!

A fellow anglesey person, does your name refer to your location in HH?Huh
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The Chav Nativity

ahh now that would be telling!!! Why how many people do you know on Marchog? lol
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The Chav Nativity

not too many, use to live in HH, moved down to valley
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The Chav Nativity

I only moved up here 5 yrs ago, found a bloke, got married to him and had a son with him, he's just went and left us 7 wks ago. I'm glad I live on this estate though coz the people here are fantastic and really supportive.
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The Chav Nativity

yeah I heard that about marchog....not like 1 or 2 of the other estates, but will leave that subject there lol, dont want to get into a match about that.

Sorry to hear about that though, glad to hear peeps are looking after you though, if you look at my site below, u may realise who i am....been in the mail enough times lol
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The Chav Nativity

well the ignorance, I apologise to inform you that I don't lol. OMG another Thomas, I'm one of them an' all lol. I take it you know a paramedice called Gwynfor then, must be around 60 now, semi retired, he lives in the house opposite me.
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The Chav Nativity

Yeah know gwynfor by name, good rep too!!