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Subject: Euro Speak

chrisco
Grafter
Posts: 314
Registered: 31-07-2007

Subject: Euro Speak

Apologies to the PC community!

EURO SPEAK

The European Commission has just announced an agreement
whereby English will be the official language of the
European Union rather than German, which was the other
possibility.

As part of the negotiations, the British Government
conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement
and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become
known as "Euro-English".

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c".
Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy.

The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This
should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less
letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the
sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be
replaced with "f". This
will make words like
fotograf 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new
spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage
where more
komplikated changes are possible.

Governments will enkourage the removal of double
letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate
speling.

Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent
"e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th"
with "z" and "w" with "v".

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords
kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil
sensibl riten styl.

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve
vil al be speking German
like zey vunted in ze forst plas.

If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl. Wink


Chris
6 REPLIES
N/A

Subject: Euro Speak

ROFLMAO!!!!!

Nice one Chris. I was laughing near the start as I could see where it was heading lol. But you need to be careful that you dont upset any foreigners or other nationals we may have amongst us as this would not be seen as PC lol.

Was a darn good laugh anyway and certainly in time for the weekend.

Regards,
N/A

Subject: Euro Speak

I'm sure I've seen this (or something very similar) before, but it still put a smile on my face Smiley

If people from other countries take offence at that, then it's a very very very sad day.
holdtight
Grafter
Posts: 1,634
Registered: 15-06-2007

Subject: Euro Speak

Thats very good Chris gave me a good laugh just what i needed and as Tom said very well timed Cheesy

But in jest there is truth so watch out for any spelling changes in the future Wink
chrisco
Grafter
Posts: 314
Registered: 31-07-2007

Subject: Euro Speak

Hey! I did apologise to the PC community at the start of the post, judging by some of the spelling in these forums I can only assume many folks are already using Euro Speak!!! Tongue

What................. :?:

Have a good weekend, Chris Wink
holdtight
Grafter
Posts: 1,634
Registered: 15-06-2007

Subject: Euro Speak

Totally agree with that Wink


you too mate Cheesy

Bill.
N/A

Subject: Euro Speak

Very funny but about ten years old or more.