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Silly Cockney Rhyming Slang

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Silly Cockney Rhyming Slang

Quote
Blimey! Low cost an' 'igh quali'y is possible No uvver Spawtsman's Bet Service Provider 'as managed ter figure aaaht 'ow though. Here’s 'ow we do it. Instead ov 'avin' a 'uge marketin' budget what buys advertisin' an' PR gimmicks, we make sure what trust an' customer satisfacshun make people choose us. Every time aaahr customers recommend us usin' aaahr referral system, we vank 'em by payin' 'em every month. Doin' dis makes sure aaahr prices stay low an' all. We don’t jackie jones any network. We strike deals wiv da best wholesale suppliers ter make sure we can offer da broadest choice ov products available. Network managemen' is impawtan' in deliverin' a low cost an' 'igh quali'y service. The automated systems we 'ave developed sean bean what we can manage aaahr network ter give yew a consistently bee's knees quali'y service. We’re an online business an' we believe in automashun. This sean beans we don’t 'ave lots ov staff an' in'ernal costs what we would 'ave ter pass on ter you. Nuff said, yeah?


From the PN Homepage - Why Choose us?

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Low cost and high quality is possible

No other Internet Service Provider has managed to figure out how though. Here’s how we do it. Instead of having a huge marketing budget that buys advertising and PR gimmicks, we make sure that trust and customer satisfaction make people choose us. Every time our customers recommend us using our referral system, we thank them by paying them every month. Doing this makes sure our prices stay low too.

We don’t own any network. We strike deals with the best wholesale suppliers to make sure we can offer the broadest choice of products available. Network management is important in delivering a low cost and high quality service. The automated systems we have developed mean that we can manage our network to give you a consistently good quality service.

We’re an online business and we believe in automation. This means we don’t have lots of staff and internal costs that we would have to pass on to you.


Text translation courtesy of http://www.cockneyrhymingslang.co.uk/rabbit.aspx
6 REPLIES
Community Veteran
Posts: 3,237
Thanks: 244
Fixes: 3
Registered: 05-04-2007

Silly Cockney Rhyming Slang

Remember it's not pound, it's paaand Smiley
And Laandan (as per my profile) !!
Liam
Grafter
Posts: 2,083
Registered: 04-04-2007

Silly Cockney Rhyming Slang

Perhaps we should put Service Status posts through it ;-) :

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Lawd above! LLU Authenticashun Issues (39445) - RESOLVED

This is an update ter da previously repawted problem causin' authenticashun an' connectivi'y issues fer some broadband customers. A copy ov da original announcemen' can be found 'ere:-

http://usertools.plus.net/status/archive/1169024262.htm

Our network engineers 'ave isolated da cause ov da problem which was found ter be da result ov a configurashun omission followin' da recen' work ter introduce aaahr new E320 cawer network router:- http://usertools.plus.net/status/archive/1168891526.htm

The problem was specific ter customers who log on ter da Spawtsman's Bet usin' da fawmat (username)@plus.net an' did not affect Force9, Free Online customers awer Plusnet customers usin' da realm @plusdsl.net. We 'ave since corrected da configurashun an' all customers should be able ter connect ter da Spawtsman's Bet wivaaaht problems. Please accept aaahr apologies fer any inconvenience caused.

Kind Regards, Bob Pullen Customer Suppawt. , innit.
Community Veteran
Posts: 3,237
Thanks: 244
Fixes: 3
Registered: 05-04-2007

Silly Cockney Rhyming Slang

Aaah, good old 'innit'. Not heard that before round here.

Would actually be quite funny, if it wasn't so realistic Shockedops:
N/A

Silly Cockney Rhyming Slang

I presume you've seen Northern Word

Also scarily close to the truth. :shock:
Liam
Grafter
Posts: 2,083
Registered: 04-04-2007

Silly Cockney Rhyming Slang

Being a southerner... I can't understand all that gibberish!
shellsong
Grafter
Posts: 2,191
Registered: 03-08-2007

Silly Cockney Rhyming Slang

So Liam, you're more into being "drunk as a handcart and laughing like a pisky", eh! Tongue :lol: