A man goes to the doctor's. The doc checks him over, and says "Sorry, but you have Yellow 24, a nasty virus, so called as it turns your blood yellow and you only have 24 hours to live. There's nothing I can do for you, just go home and enjoy your final precious moments on earth."
So he trudges home to his wife, and breaks the news.
Distraught, she asks him to accompany her to bingo that evening so he can experience her idea of a night out, as he's never been there before.
He gets his first card and wins 4 corners - prize £350, and then gets a line and wins £3200. He also calls for a full house - and wins £5000. The national prize comes up and he wins a further £380,000.
The bingo caller gets him on stage, and says "Sir, I've never seen you in here in all my life, but you won 4 corners, any line, full house & the national prize - I've never met anyone so lucky."
"Lucky??" he screamed, "Lucky? I'll have you know I've got Yellow 24."
"F*^# me," says the bingo caller." You've won the raffle as well"!